Teen Mom Bios: Maci | Farrah | Catelynn | Amber | Leah | Chelsea | Kailyn | Jenelle Teen Mom Junkies

ryan-dalis

Before I begin writing about anything Teen Mom related, I want to first address the tragedy that happened last Friday.

I’ve tried to accept that the world is a pretty crazy place, and random acts of violence happen everywhere.  It sucks, but it’s the world we live in, and have lived in all our lives.  That said, I was completely unprepared for what happened on Friday morning, and it has since thrown me completely off.  There have been a ton of terrible things that have happened to people in my life on this planet, but never did I expect someone to enter an elementary school and open fire on completely innocent children.

I won’t address him by name, because he doesn’t deserve the attention he likely sought.  It seems people are constantly trying to ‘one-up’ another as they go out in a blaze of gunfire, but if this is the new low they are going to stoop to, I absolutely refuse to mention them by name.  Hopefully others will follow the trend and call him anything BUT his name…

There were a few things that happened in the world of Teen Mom, but it took me a weekend of debating various things like gun laws and mental health for me to rebound and start caring about who is grinding genitals with who this week.  However, like they say, the world continues to move, at least until Friday when it’s supposed to end, but I’m not sure what time so I’ll just keep chugging until then.

So the big story dominating Teen Mom headlines is the breakup of Ryan and Dalis.  This is the moment Maci fans have been waiting a long time for, and now it appears they are foaming at the mouth over a possible re-connection with Ryan.   While many appear to like the idea, what I say about that is – puke city.  The only positive about the two reuniting is that Bentley will have his parents back together and maybe mommy will stop running off to Vegas every other weekend to connect with her motocross fling, Kyle Regal.  Plus Bentley won’t have to get used to a new mother or father figure in his life every few months, which is always a positive for a child.

As for why Ryan and Dalis broke up, that’s going to be a mystery for some time.  I did some searching, and the best I could find with any sort of credibility was a quote that may or may not be true that Dalis couldn’t talk about it but she is happy and relieved now.  I heard rumors of other stuff, but nothing worth repeating unless it was confirmed.

Don’t worry though, Kyle is always ready to clean up after Ryan..

dalis-kyle

Yes, that’s Dalis hanging out with Kyle King over this past weekend.  I’m sure they were just hanging out as “friends”, but come on Kyle.  Do you really want to be known as the guy who takes Ryan’s leftovers?

Anyway, there is a new Teen Mom 2 tonight.  We will be live tweeting and recapping, so be sure to follow us on twitter!

It seems Ryan’s girlfriend, Dalis Connell is in the christmas spirit and that makes all 5 of us male Teen Mom viewers happy.  Now the trick is to having Melinda re-create this pose for my personal collection.

I figure this is a nice change of pace story from terrible tattoos, quick weddings, and possible heroin addiction… (and that’s just Jenelle).  I know 99% of our readers will roll their eyes, but this is for the 1%!  I don’t forget about you guys either!

During slow periods, it’s hard to just post stories on this blog unless they’re really worth posting.  Sure, I could upload a photo, maybe put a caption and try to get some visitors, but I just don’t feel that is ‘blogworthy’.  Maybe I’m wrong, maybe people wouldn’t mind seeing a page full of random pictures like Aubrey, Leah and Bentley with cutesy captions like this photo “Oh boy, Bentley really loves his Wheaties!” (I think I puked in my mouth a little with that caption).

That’s where that site Sulia comes in, because you can pretty much do that there AND get paid for it.  Yea, so while I’m scouring the Internet for anything interesting, people are making money just uploading photos or spreading false rumors.  Take Jenelle for example (and it’s why I used Ryan’s photo)… I guess she decided to push some traffic to Sulia by randomly saying that Ryan would be a part of Maci’s spin-off for $20k an episode.  Dalis and Ryan were both like… “Woah, cut the crap and don’t spread rumors” (here) and (here) to which Jenelle just replied “Like, I just repeat what’s on Sulia… gawd… I even like said it was probably a rumorrrr” (not her exact words, but close enough).

So is that all Sulia is about?  If so, why do I waste time thinking of stories to write when I could just spread rumors and make a few extra bucks in the process?  I feel like I’m missing the boat on this, and I should be cashing in with everyone else.

Don’t worry, I’m only kidding.  Nothing is more annoying than reading twitter to see posts like this….

“Oh wow, can you believe what happened on Teen Mom this week?  Maci said…. [read more at Sulia]“

*click link*

“Oh wow, can you believe what happened on Teen mom this week?  Maci said she wants to quit school”

Serious?  You made me click a link for five more words?  Kill me.

On a related note, even if this rumor is true, I don’t blame Ryan. In his situation, I’d be asking for a boatload too.  If I already had a decent amount of money, MTV would have to pay me a fortune to air my life for everyone to criticize, especially if my ex was a girl who can do no wrong in the eyes of many.

Before I begin with the story, you’ve probably noticed the lack of updates on this blog throughout the summer.  There are two reasons for that.  1) I decided to actually try to have a life this summer since we have like 2 minutes to enjoy it in New England a year.  2) The free time I did have, I’ve been blogging about Big Brother.  Now that both summer and Big Brother are winding down, expect to see an increase in stories here!

If you’ve checked out Sulia recently (and you probably have because it’s spammed so much on twitter), you’ll see the image posted above like 500 times on the front page.  Why is it such a big deal?  I’m not really quite sure myself, but the way the story goes is that Jenelle posted the photo of Dalis wearing nothing but her bra, and Dalis was all like “Omg, that’s like such a private picture that I put on the internet, how could you like post it, gawd!”  ok, that was me pretending to be Dalis, what she really said was:

twtter – “um seriously? That was like 7 months ago. & not for the public. But ofcourse this world is about making others look bad.”

I’m not exactly sure how it was making her look bad, perhaps it has to do with the backlash she received this season from her appearance on Teen Mom.  Dalis had a pretty poor reception for saying something like “Good” when Maci was done giving Ryan the 3rd degree one night. Honestly, I’m not hating on her for that, that was regarding the party that Maci set Ryan up to look like a jerk when she had Bentley call him to invite him without giving him any warning.  That was kind of a scumbag move on Maci’s part, whether her fans want to admit it or not.

Of course, Dalis probably should have stayed out of it, and she did for the most part, but good ‘ole MTV decided to add her clip in for drama purposes which made Maci lovers completely turn on her.  I don’t think it was that big of a deal, and I probably would have said the same thing in her shoes.   Maci follows them down to Florida to impose on their vacation, then ambushes Ryan with a birthday invite when he already had plans of his own for Bentley, and then argues with him in front of their son about it.

Needless to say that was water under the bridge, but I think Dalis probably felt like she was being mocked or something by Jenelle due to posting her picture… so naturally she got defensive.   To Jenelle’s defense, I didn’t see it as mocking, I seen it as just another story to link to Sulia so she gets paid a few extra bucks this week.

What do you think?

maci bookout dalis connell

Even though this is super old news if you’ve followed the blog for awhile, tonight on Teen Mom Maci Bookout will meet Dalis Connell for the first time!  If you recall from last week, Dalis is the girl who “has no chance” with Ryan, yet are still together today (wait, let me check….  yup, still together.  Tomorrow could be different).

From the preview below, I can already tell I’m going to have a lot to say about this one (so follow twitter!), especially the part when Maci brings like 500 girls to meet Dalis.  Who does that?  Heck, who flies down to Florida to be near your ex-boyfriend when he’s on a family vacation?  Sure, he has their kid, but he’s their kid.. not Maci’s. As far as I can tell, and through any Teen Mom circles I’ve spoken with, Ryan is a fantastic father, so it’s not like Maci had to be protective.   Ugh, the situation annoys me, but to be fair, Maci even admitted she made a mistake doing it and probably realizes how awful she comes off re-watching it.

This is probably going to be a very cringe-worthy episode for Maci to watch herself on, so I won’t be too hard on her.  She knows she messed up, but it will still be fun to watch.

Follow us on twitter to live chat during the show or follow us on facebook to see 20% of the posts I make (thanks new facebook rules! grr).

Here is the preview of tonight, and be sure to leave comments below!

maci talking about ryan's girlfriend dalis

I have to admit, I’m in over my head right now.  Melinda is in Florida on a much needed vacation, so that leaves me to handle both live tweets and recaps for this episode and next.  Honestly, I’ve written exactly 0 recaps for Teen Mom, as my full time job is basically to keep track of Jenelle’s constantly changing relationship status.  I’ll give it a go, but I doubt it will be as good.

Let’s start with everyone’s favorite – Amber….

AMBER PORTWOOD

Amber is still in the very beautiful rehab facility, most likely paid for by MTV.  They don’t really show much of her because when they do, she’s clearly so drugged up she can barely keep her eyes open.  What little of the Amber segment focused on Gary’s preparations to visit her at some point, and a few third parties mentioning just how bad those two are for each other.

Gary’s mother chatted with him for a little while about her rehab, and reading between the lines she was basically telling him.. “Look Gary.. or should I call you Gary Time and buy a t-shirt so you actually listen to me?  Amber has issues.. the type that a little stint in rehab isn’t going to magically fix.  While that place does wonders for people on the show Intervention, it simply can’t fix crazy”.   Naturally, Gary was in Gary world and didn’t really care what his mother had to say.

On Amber’s side, some creepy looking guy named JJ had Amber call her brother Shawn to talk about how things are going.  While others may have sugar-coated Amber’s relationship at times, Shawn didn’t.  He was very blunt and direct calling the relationship toxic, and saying Gary is controlling and essentially ruining her life.  Like the efforts put forth by Gary’s mom, it was another wasted attempt because Amber was off in Amber world while Shawn was talking.

The segment ended with Gary letting Amber know that he’s going to be bringing Leah out to see her, and they’re going to have some Gary and Amber time (I don’t even want to picture that)

CATELYNN LOWELL

It’s graduation time!  And you know what that means??  Awkwardness!  Why?  Well, for starters, Tyler’s already in college, so I really don’t know what’s up with that.  If I recall, he finished high school a semester early and was able to begin college classes, but that made for any time they talked about the ‘next step’ kind of weird.  He’s already on the next step.

Minor nitpicking aside, it was still a great time for Tyler, but especially for Catelynn.  Her father – Dave (who is moving near her) – was able to make it up for the graduation with her brother who’s sadly paralyzed from an auto accident.  This is great for Cate because Dave is really one cool guy and she seems to really lean on him for support.  The fact that he’s moving up is making it that much better.

Tyler, well, he’s still stuck with Butch and his issues.  Butch is not able to make it to the graduation because he’s getting out of jail one day too late. Look on the bright side though, he’s really coming around!!  He’s actually starting to accept Carly… very nice of him  (*rolls eyes*)

Regardless, congratulations on the graduation you two!

Maci Bookout

Maci, Maci, Maci.. what am I going to do with you?  Her part revolves around Bentley going to FL for the week with Ryan, his parents, and Ryan’s girlfriend Dalis (whom Maci was unaware of at the time).  Well, Maci decided to invite herself down to their family vacation.  Not to intrude, just to “be there if needed”.  Talk about awkward, and then with Dalis coming along, how uncomfortable for this poor girl?

But hey, at least she disguised her intrusion by bringing along some friends so they can all sit around and talk about Ryan and his girlfriend.   Does anyone get the feeling that Maci secretly wants Ryan back real bad but is trying to be very un-Chelsealike about it?

Farrah Abraham

This was essentially the Farrah episode, so I saved the best for last.  First, you have Michael (her father) helping her get comfortable with her new surroundings in Florida, while Farrah does her constant eye rolling any time he tries to give her an ounce of advice.  She took it personal when he said he was thinking of moving down there so he can help her out if needed.  Yes, I get that both he and Deb are being overbearing helicopter grandparents to Sophia, but many single moms would kill for that type of support.  Yet here you have Farrah constantly yelling back at her mother and father whenever they try to help… grr frustrating.

Farrah then decides to interview for a nanny because apparently she needs help with Sophia, but not free help from caring grandparents.  Then, only after she’s all moved in, she does a check on her potential nanny only to find out Farrah is the one kind of living in the crappy neighborhood.  Well done on the pre-move research there.

Finally, we have the dog situation.  Because Farrah learned that she really can’t handle having a dog, she went to her pet shop to pick out a fish.  Of course she doesn’t make it past the dog section before asking to see one of the cute puppies, and instantly falls in love with it.  Showing some restraint and maturity, she puts the puppy back and picks out the fish that Sophia want and they go home.  Hahahah.. just kidding.  This is Farrah.  Ignoring Sophia’s plea for a fish, and the fact that she pretty much sucks as a dog owner, she buys it anyway.   But hey, at least it’s not wearing diapers this time, it’s only trapped in a cage a hamster would feel claustrophobic in.

In conclusion, that’s my recap.  I don’t really know how to end these things when they’re separated into four different parts, so I’m just going to stop typing and let you guys talk about the episode now