Teen Mom Bios: Maci | Farrah | Catelynn | Amber | Leah | Chelsea | Kailyn | Jenelle Teen Mom Junkies


Courtland “Anmost Fanous” Rogers decided to hit up the tattoo parlor once again, and he didn’t disappoint. His new tattoo is supposed to be his skin ripped open (for some reason – I’ll assume a meth fight) to reveal what is really inside him, which is the confederate flag.  Before I talk about the flag part, am I the only one who things the bottom ‘tear’ looks like a real beat-up lady part?   As a matter of fact, it almost looks like Jonah Hill’s character from Superbad decided to change his drawing of choice and went to work on Courtland’s chest.  (If you haven’t seen Superbad, see it, you’ll understand the reference)

So, why would Courtland decide to get a tattoo of a flag that generally represents all that was bad in the early parts of American history?  His grandmama told him to of course! According to Jenelle, his grandmother owned the very first railroads in NC which makes Courtland an expert on the Civil War.  Even if you gloss over the “owning the first RR” part, which would put his grandmother at around 177 years old, I’m still not sure how that has any impact on Courtland’s knowledge of the war.

I’m not going to get all sanctimonious and start preaching about the meaning of the flag.  I understand many people ignore the bad parts of the confederacy and look at “The South” as their own little country with their own little flag representing them.  Slavery was a bad time in history but it’s not like the north was innocent throughout the entire ordeal.  That said, you have to be a complete dope if you don’t know the controversy surrounding the flag, so to permanently put it on your body is not something I would do.   To be fair, this is the same guy who had his girlfriend/wife’s name tattooed on his chest, so it’s not like Courtland is the poster child for intelligent decisions regarding ink.

Side notes: I can only imagine how he got the real scar on his hip.  In addition, that red mark is a bruise and not a shaved armpit, right?  I think that would be too low to be his armpit, but you can never be too sure.

Anyway, new Teen Mom 2 on tonight.  We didn’t blog last time it was on, but we will be recapping and live tweeting tonight, so be sure to follow!



Warning, I’m a little annoyed writing this, and it has nothing to do with Jenelle.   I need to rant a little before I get started, and I know how much you all love that.  While I love getting stories e-mailed to me, it is getting slightly annoying to read comments about how we slack regarding Jenelle news.  I wrote a story on that train wreck on friday, yet because I didn’t spend my entire weekend at the computer just waiting for the next move she makes, I am being called a slacker.  Guess what, when it comes to Jenelle, it’s the same freakin story over and over.  Are people really upset I didn’t quickly produce a carbon copy of my other Jenelle break-up stories in a timely fashion?  I’ve been calling Courtland her future ex-husband before they were married, so waiting for that to happen is like waiting for Lindsay Lohan to break the law.  You know it will happen, you just never know when.

Starcasm did indeed cover it, and in great detail as they always do.  If you want to see all the tweets, check out the link here. The difference between this site and Starcasm’s is that we don’t have a team of writers covering these shows all the time.  If I ever made enough money to pay someone to monitor who Jenelle is grinding genitals with or what drugs she’s rumored to be on, I’d do it no problem.  The problem is, I’m not smart like the owner of Starcasm, so I’ve yet to figure out a way to make money to pay people to do the work.   If any pro bloggers want to clue me in, I’m all ears.

Rant over… now to the predictable story I should have already had saved on my computer.  It appears Jenelle is done with Courtland.  It also appears she is super insecure because the reason for this big blowout was that Courtland was chatting with the mother of his child on twitter…. yes, twitter.   To be fair, Jenelle does treat twitter like it’s her diary and shares way too much info on it at times.  While most people use it to make one-liners, apparently Jenelle thinks it’s a relationship sin to converse with an ex over it.

If you’re a reader of the blog, my better half (who does the episode recaps) has a kid with someone else.  You know what?  They were facebook friends and even had to see each other once in awhile.  Wow, crazy right?  I know people are wondering how I managed to control my rage and jealousy, but I’ll give you a hint, it’s a little thing called maturity.. something most of the moms from Teen Mom severely lack.

Now, I don’t know the complete story, nor do I even really care.  Like I mentioned above, we all knew the relationship was doomed the day it started, simply because Jenelle is part of it.  How many people actually really care about the details of why they broke up?   Let’s just say the moon was in the wrong spot, and you’ll probably already be half right.

One note, I do hear that she didn’t sign a prenupt, but I don’t think it really matters.  I’m no expert on law, but if I were a betting man, I’d say most of our readers have more money in their banks than Jenelle does at this moment.  If she were to get divorced now, Courtland would receive half of nearly nothing, and I don’t think he’d be able to cash in on the future checks that come in for her. Although, I suppose there is the alimony angle, but again I don’t have a clue how often she gets paid, or if they can even really settle on long-term payments from checks that come every few months (allegedly).   Perhaps the readers know more about that than I do.

If Jenelle is nearly broke today, like she is rumored to be, does Courtland get any money now or in the future?  Feel free to chime in because I’m curious about this.


First off, I hope everyone had a good Christmas if you celebrate it.  If you don’t, I can now relate to how terrible Dec 25th can be for you.  I do celebrate the holiday, but on the way home from my sisters, we were craving some Dunkin Donuts bad.  Considering there are literally around 10 (or more) within like 5 minutes drive, we thought we’d get lucky with at least 1.  Nope, we had to drive 3 towns over for the nearest open Dunkin Donuts… yes, first world problems I know.

Nobody wants to hear about my Christmas coffee problems, but speaking of Christmas, MTV decided to run a new Teen Mom 2 this week.  The problem was that monday was Christmas eve and we weren’t home to live tweet it, and our DVR for some reason never wants to record the show.  Seriously, it works completely fine for every other show but every week I check and there is a big ‘not recording’ logo next to Teen Mom 2 despite no other conflicts.  I think my DVR is just sick of us watching a bunch of staged drama, but too bad comcast, the robots haven’t taken over yet, so you’re forced to deal with what we watch!  (When they do take over, the first thing my DVR is going to do is kill me in my sleep).

Moving on, the big story of the week was the long night suffered by Jenelle’s future ex-husband, Courtland Rogers.  Apparently it was something completely overblown to which he apologized for but it seems like he was a wreck all night.  I guess Jenelle said she was going home to see Jace (first red flag), but was on stickam with her friend Tori and Courtland didn’t really know what was happening.  He starts freaking out over twitter, because Jenelle has trained him to make sure all her fans know of their dirty laundry, and it even got Kailyn all worked up.  Check out a screenshot a fan sent:



I am just completely in shock that a girl who has gone back and forth between two guys about 15 times in 2012, then hooked up with a third guy and married him faster than you can say ‘rebound’ is suddenly having relationship issues.  The best part was the tweet “Can’t believe she do this to me omfg”. Grammar aside, is Courtland really shocked at anything Jenelle would do at this point?  All he has to do is watch the first few seasons of Teen Mom 2 to realize how much of a mess she is, and then if he wanted more dirt, spend 5 minutes on the Internet looking up stories that haven’t made it on TV yet.   Better yet, just read her twitter feed for the past year, and then try to be shocked she “do this to you”.

I’ll say what I’ve said all along, Jenelle is pure gold from a bloggers perspective, so I’m not going to complain at all.  Without Jenelle, Teen Mom 2 would be incredibly painful to follow and blog about.  Other than the yearly marriages by either Corey or Leah, there is nothing else ever going on with that cast.  Kailyn and Chelsea are both apparently maturing, which is good for them, bad for us, but Jenelle keeps this train rolling.. at least until Teen Mom 3 comes out.

Will Courtland and Jenelle get divorced?  Almost certainly.  It’s merely a matter of ‘when’ at this point, but this fight doesn’t appear to be the one to do it. They’re already kissing and making up (get puke buckets ready), so those who had them divorced by the end of 2012 are likely going to lose that bet.  Don’t worry, there is always January.

Also, this post is already long enough, but feel free to also comment about how weird it is that going out at 3am is apparently normal behavior for them.


The end of the world must have happened yesterday because here I am posting a story on a Saturday night!   It’s not like I have a life anyway, but I typically like to sit on my butt and mindlessly stare at the TV on the weekends.  Almost like someone all strung out on meth or heroin, which is how I’ll segue into this story…

Sometime this morning, two people who have seen more of Jenelle than we’d ever want to were battling it out on twitter.  I’m not sure what’s the weird part, that it was around 8am est, or that Courtland publicly stated Jenelle was hooked on heroin during her time with him.  Of course, anyone who has been following the situation pretty much assumes she is still on it, and that was the reason she was recently in the hospital.  It also doesn’t hurt that there was a witness inside the hospital who said she was there for withdrawals, but like I posted at the time, it’s hard to believe random statements.  That said, the witness suddenly gained a lot of credibility after that tweet.

Side note, I find it absolutely hilarious that almost everyone who replies to Courtland brings up the ‘Alnost Fanous’ line from the tattoo he had scribbled on.  I wonder if he has gone down to have that fixed yet, or if that’s going to be his ‘thing’. Perhaps he really has no clue what people are talking about and think it’s a big coincidence everyone is spelling it that way.

Anyway, just a random update on everyone’s favorite couple.  In other news, Dalis posted yet another modeling photo in her underwear, but I have a hard time believing our demo really cares about seeing a new Dalis photo daily, so I won’t bother.  And in related news, rumors are that Ryan and Maci are already cooling down.  I will post a full story about it when I gather more info.

Speaking of, does anyone who follows all the teen mom / sulia channels want to quickly relay stories to me so I can write about them?  Sometimes I am not around, watching tv or playing games, and end up finding half the stories in the comments section.

If you have a good lead for a story, you can use the contact form or e-mail me directly at stevebeans (at) teenmomjunkies (dot) com.   If you send us a lot of good leads, you can end up becoming our best friend which could involve pushing your twitter account (if you wanted), or potential financial compensation if you completely rock.  So send those stories!!


2012-christmascardBecause it was such a hit last year, the girls from Teen Mom have released their annual Christmas card once again.  This year, Amber remains on the cover, but is now joined by fellow star Jenelle which succinctly sums up the year for both stars.

While Amber remains in prison, Jenelle was in and out of jail through the early part of the year.  Although she has finally broken free from to tortures of probation and has remained out of trouble for a few months, her year has been quite the roller coaster.   While jumping back and forth between ex’s Kieffer and Gary, Jenelle also had to deal with her nude photo scandal, quite a few broken iphones, some questionable decisions on body ink, more drug rumors, and some health issues.  The year wasn’t all bad for her, as once she stopped bouncing between ex’s, she did find a new boyfriend which she got engaged to, and then married…  Yes, this was all 2012.

(before the moms get all butthurt over this post again, if you don’t like it, stay out of jail.  It’s not hard)

With the world scheduled to end sometime tomorrow morning, this could be my last blog post ever.   If it doesn’t, well I guess I’ll have to suffer with this cold I picked up and keep giving you the news on our favorite young moms.



On another staged Leah and Jeremy date, he asks her to be his girlfriend.  Then he asks what happened with Corey and she’s like, “he was doing things, I was doing things…” but doesn’t actually say what they were doing.  Anyway, I’m kind of bored with Leah and Jeremy already.

Since they’re “officially” boyfriend and girlfriend, Leah thinks it’s a great time to meet the girls.  Sometimes I forget kids are involved in this show.  It seems like its usually just relationship problems.

Leah calls Corey to tell him she’s seeing Jeremy and gives him the low-down.  He seems all cool with it and says he wants to meet Jeremy again, since he’ll be spending time around the twins.


Shut up about, Adam!  Okay, so Chelsea hasn’t spoken to Adam since he broke up with her and she’s been all depressed and mopey and decides to go to therapy, since she has a habit of dating guys who treat her like shit.

When Chelsea brings up therapy to her mom, her mom thinks it’s a good idea.  Chels is all, “Why does everyone think I’m so messed up?”  Chelsea, I have 1 word for you: Adam.

So Chelsea goes to therapy and immediately starts in on her drama with Adam, and blames it on her parents divorcing when she was a Freshman.  She doesn’t want Aubree to deal with having split up parents.  The therapist tells her to Google “boundaries.”  When she does, she finds out she has low self-esteem.  I could have told her that.


Kail is all upset that Jordan has been hanging with other girls and cries to Jo about it.  Seems kind of weird to me to talk about your love problems with your ex like that.  Anyway, Shifty tells Kailyn to just go on with her life and stop worrying about having a boyfriend.  Why doesn’t she ever take this advice?  He’s not the first person to tell her that.

Kail calls Jordan to officially end things.  She says she doesn’t want Isaac to grow up in an unstable relationship.  Maybe she should talk to Chelsea…

When Kail is telling Jo all these, she gets all upset when she realizes she’ll probably never be with Jo.  He’s all serious with Vee and stuff now.


Jenelle’s been passing her drug tests, but she’s off her medication.  Babsy tells her to go back on her meds.  Listen to your mother, Jenelle!  So, anyway, Jenelle tells Babs about some new guy she met and Babs’ first two questions are: Is he cute and is he skinny.

Um, what?  Has Babsy been hitting the sauce?

So the guy Jenelle is meeting up with is named Josh.  Right away, she tells him she’s on probation.  To his credit, he doesn’t run away.  Turns out he just got off probation for stealing his mom’s credit card.  It’s a match made in heaven.

Right away, Josh goes with them to Myrtle Beach…”them” being Jenelle AND Jace.  Why does she bring him around her son so soon?  They all seem to do it.  I kind of wonder if MTV pushes this?  They need material, dammit!

When Jenelle is talking to Babs about the date, Babs is like, “Does he have a car?”  And Jenelle says, “Yes, so he’s very responsible too.”  Because having a car = being responsible.  Got it.

Wow!  Jenelle and I have something in common: “When I get tired, I turn into a raging bitch, dude.”  She said this during a meeting of Josh and Babs.  Josh looks like “whoa.”  Haha.