Teen Mom Bios: Maci | Farrah | Catelynn | Amber | Leah | Chelsea | Kailyn | Jenelle Teen Mom Junkies

That’s right, make sure to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband because the Teen Mom 2 crew is invading MTV once again beginning tonight at 10pm est!  If you’re not familiar with the show, RUN NOW.. just kidding, I want the readers!  I’ll give you a little summary…

Jenelle Evans – She is the ‘bad girl’ of the group, who will always find a way to get herself in boy or legal trouble.  Her mother may be the most entertaining person on Teen Mom 2 because of the things she says, and with her Boston accent (or as those of us in the North East simply call – speaking).   I am not sure what the season will cover with Jenelle because she’s bounced back and forth between Kieffah and Gary more times than Mitt Romney changed his political stance this year (ohh, political zing!), but I’m sure whatever we see will resemble a train wreck of some sort.

Chelsea Houska – Chelsea is daddy’s little girl and the “boring” one of the bunch.  That’s actually a compliment to Chelsea because if you’re on MTV and considered ‘boring’, you probably have a pretty stable life.  I’m not really sure what her story will bring this season as it could range from her simply going to school to talking her ex-bf Adam.  Personally I think it will be more of the former and less of the latter, which will allow for some snack breaks during her segments.  Again, I mean that in the nicest way possible, if I were on MTV, I’d want to be called boring too.

Kailyn Lowry – Compared to Chelsea, Kailyn is a wild girl, but that’s not really saying a whole lot.  Some nuns may be considered wild next to Chelsea.  Anyway, she is the outspoken one who pretends real hard to have money issues, so it should be entertaining to watch her ‘struggle’ to pay rent or put Isaac in day care.   I’m sure she’ll also have some fabricated drama with Isaac’s father Jo.. maybe they’ll hook up again.  Kailyn is probably the Maci of the season, the girl who lives a pretty solid life with a very stable ‘babby daddy’, but has to play it up for MTV otherwise she’ll fall into *gasp* boring territory.   Being boring doesn’t lead to future deals, like hosting an ‘after show’ with the Teen Mom 2 girls (pretend I did a story on that, which I will soon – maybe tomorrow)

Leah Messer Simms Calvert (I don’t know what name she’s going by now) – This season we’ll probably watch more of the split between Leah and Corey and then the blossoming love between Leah and Jeremy.  I am not sure we’ll be able to watch Leah and Jeremy consummate their marriage, but SPOILER ALERT, his seeds are swimmers!

 

Be sure to watch Teen Mom 2 tonight at 10pm est and follow us on twitter for some live tweeting action!

 

MTV has decided to give us a little taste of what we’re in for with Teen Mom 2, season 3 with a very brief trailer.  The show is going to be moved to Monday nights and begin on Nov 12th at 10pm est.  For those wondering, we will definitely be live tweeting the crap out of it, so be sure to follow us before you forget.

If the trailer is any indication what we’re going to watch this winter, be prepared for plenty of the Leah and Jenelle show, with a sprinkle of Kailyn and a dab of Chelsea mixed in.  It will follow some of Jenelle’s jail and rehab trips, the divorce of Leah and Corey, Kailyn and some fabricated drama with Jo, and Chelsea doing whatever it is she does these days.  Seriously, what WILL they show of Chelsea?  Going to school?  Maybe we’ll watch her at a part time job pretending to struggle financially. Perhaps she’ll embarrass herself over Adam some more?

Look, I think Kailyn and Chelsea are probably the most level headed from this cast, but that generally doesn’t translate to entertaining TV.  I’m not saying their segments are guaranteed snoozers, but I have a feeling Bahbawa (Jenelle’s mother) may get more airtime than Chelsea or Kailyn some episodes. I mean she probably got as much airtime as Chelsea did in the trailer alone.

During slow periods, it’s hard to just post stories on this blog unless they’re really worth posting.  Sure, I could upload a photo, maybe put a caption and try to get some visitors, but I just don’t feel that is ‘blogworthy’.  Maybe I’m wrong, maybe people wouldn’t mind seeing a page full of random pictures like Aubrey, Leah and Bentley with cutesy captions like this photo “Oh boy, Bentley really loves his Wheaties!” (I think I puked in my mouth a little with that caption).

That’s where that site Sulia comes in, because you can pretty much do that there AND get paid for it.  Yea, so while I’m scouring the Internet for anything interesting, people are making money just uploading photos or spreading false rumors.  Take Jenelle for example (and it’s why I used Ryan’s photo)… I guess she decided to push some traffic to Sulia by randomly saying that Ryan would be a part of Maci’s spin-off for $20k an episode.  Dalis and Ryan were both like… “Woah, cut the crap and don’t spread rumors” (here) and (here) to which Jenelle just replied “Like, I just repeat what’s on Sulia… gawd… I even like said it was probably a rumorrrr” (not her exact words, but close enough).

So is that all Sulia is about?  If so, why do I waste time thinking of stories to write when I could just spread rumors and make a few extra bucks in the process?  I feel like I’m missing the boat on this, and I should be cashing in with everyone else.

Don’t worry, I’m only kidding.  Nothing is more annoying than reading twitter to see posts like this….

“Oh wow, can you believe what happened on Teen Mom this week?  Maci said…. [read more at Sulia]“

*click link*

“Oh wow, can you believe what happened on Teen mom this week?  Maci said she wants to quit school”

Serious?  You made me click a link for five more words?  Kill me.

On a related note, even if this rumor is true, I don’t blame Ryan. In his situation, I’d be asking for a boatload too.  If I already had a decent amount of money, MTV would have to pay me a fortune to air my life for everyone to criticize, especially if my ex was a girl who can do no wrong in the eyes of many.

When Jenelle and Courtland ended their true romance the other day, some were sad, some were extremely depressed, and others… well, let’s just say there has been an increase of prozac around the nation this week.

Before you have another peaceful medicated moment, put down the anti-depressant because our favorite couple of all time announced they’re back ON!  That’s right, Jenelle and Courtland appeared to have mended their fences and are back to gushing over each other on twitter.

Ahh young love, it can change like the New England weather.. as of matter of fact, breaking news:  I’m told they just broke up.  Awww too bad, I couldn’t even finish this article before they announced a breakup.   I guess we should go back to the depress….. ohhh.. wait, I am now being told they are back together and happy as ever.

Ok, enough sarcasm with this story…  On a more serious note, I wonder if there will ever be a point in Jenelle’s life where she can do something like have a fight with a boyfriend and actually not announce it hundreds of thousands of people on twitter.  She has to realize how silly she looks when she announces breakups and then reconciliations within 24 hours of each other, right?

Considering Jenelle proved she’s in another Kieffer/Gary type of relationship, I’m not going to bother posting every time they break up and get back together.   Of course if people actually cared about her relationships, I could retire just posting those stories, but reality is most don’t.

Wave bye to that relationship!

I know, those reading the news about Jenelle and Courtland splitting up have probably ruined your Monday.  This romance was right up there with some of the all time greats… I mean you have Romeo and Juliet, Bonnie and Clyde, Forrest Gump and Jennie, Superman and Lois Lane, and of course Jenelle and Courtland.  The list seemed complete, until Jenelle tweeted the awful news about them breaking up late last night.

After shaking off a mild depression from the news, I had to pull myself together to inform our loyal readers of such a sad event.  Although I hold out hope that they’ll end  up back together in time for a new season of Teen Mom 2, Jenelle is simply not the type of girl to go back out with her ex-boyfriends… so now that Courtland is gone, don’t ever expect to hear from him again.

Now that Jenelle is single, I fully expect her to remain such for a long time, pull things together and regain custody of her son.

(ok, I can’t keep the sarcasm going much longer)

This is an issue I’ve touched on quite a few times while writing about the Teen Moms, and it has come up again.  Do editors of tabloids ever take the source into account when they write stories about the moms?  Did they really pay James Duffy money to spread gossip about Jenelle?   Let me give you guys a refresher, Duffy is Jenelle’s former boss, so naturally he should have some gossip about her, correct?  Well, they have also gone back and forth countless times including no-contact orders and plenty of courtroom battles.

That source has absolutely 0 credibility if you’re a fan of Teen Mom and know who Duffy is.  While it wouldn’t shock me if the story were true, and her art school student tattoo doesn’t help, but I’m just surprised they would pay that guy for stories.  That’s like paying Lex Luther stories about Superman, or The Joker about Batman.  How are we supposed to believe gossip from those sources?  The Joker could take out a full page ad saying Batman is Bruce Wayne, but nobody is going to believe that, just like I don’t believe this.

From what I understand, Jenelle is living with her mom right now, but she actually just updated Facebook that she’s found a house for rent and she’s moving out this weekend  For the record, living with mom does not equal homeless, unless Babs is living under a bridge. She’s going to be moving in with her felon boyfriend, Courtland. I’m sure moving in with him after dating like minutes won’t turn into more drama for Jenelle.

As for the other stories on the front page, here are your spoilers:

Who’s Homeless – Jenelle (likely wrong)
Who’s Getting Marries On TV – Catelynn and Tyler and/or Leah and Jeremy
Who’s On Drugs – Who isn’t?
Which Two Teen Moms Are At War – I’ll guess Farrah and Maci