Teen Mom Bios: Maci | Farrah | Catelynn | Amber | Leah | Chelsea | Kailyn | Jenelle Teen Mom Junkies

jenelle-courtland-pregnant

I didn’t rush to post this because frankly, Jenelle stories are the same things repeated over and over and over.  When she does something new, like get a job or not date the same three people, maybe I’ll be more on the ball with Jenelle stories, but until then it’s just groundhog day over and over

(random thought: I love how some movies can basically turn the meaning of something around.  When you hear groundhog day, do you think of some stupid groundhog, or a day repeating itself over and over?)

The latest Jenelle adventure is that MTV appears to have sent her away, possibly to somewhere in Florida, and probably as a way of pretending to care about their money makers. Starcasm has tons of screenshots of conversations between plenty of douchebags, so if you want more details, check out this link. If you want a summary, keep reading…

So Courtland and Jenelle have split up, but still chat over twitter because that’s apparently the only way people on Teen Mom know how to talk to one another.  To our delight, it’s not pleasant conversation, as she’s accused him of stealing a $900 projector (that she could have paid $750 for) and then pawning it.  If I have learned anything from movies, the only reason people who look like Courtland take TV equipment and pawn it is for drug money. Of course I could be wrong, but movies never steer me wrong, plus he received slightly more than the 2 year warranty costs.

Moving on, both douchebag ex-boyfriends have confirmed via twitter that Jenelle went to some type of rehab facility, although Gary simply calls it a ‘paid vacation’.  In the Gary conversation, some girl asked him if MTV made her leave for rehab, and he did not deny that part of the question.  It’s not surprising that MTV would make her go considering the rumors of Jenelle pretty much destroying chances of a season 5 for Teen Mom 2 (though I still stand by the fact after 4 seasons it becomes less and less profitable to exploit the moms).  I bet Jenelle will be taking her ‘paid vacation’ about as serious as Gary made it sound.  Maybe she’ll have a nice oceanfront view and will just stress about not being on twitter for a month.

I think that may be it in a nutshell. Like I said, Starcasm has a super long post about the topic, and while I respect their due diligence on the issue, most don’t care about Jenelle that much.  However, if you are one of the few who do, check the link above because there are a few things I did miss.

jenelle-gary

After the very long break between season 3 and season 4, I am very glad they had a quick recap because I completely forgot what happened two weeks ago.  Reality is, I merely wanted to forget because of how terrible the season was, but with a new season brings a new hope.

Chelsea

Let me begin with our bleached blonde leather sofa skinned Chelsea.  About 1 minute into season 4, we got a glimpse of how much she has matured since filming ended. Spoiler alert: She didn’t. We learn right away that her birth control “fell out” and right away called up Adam to have some bareback fun in the bedroom.  Being the dope he is, Adam took the bait and raced over to have unprotected sex with the girl who has an unhealthy obsession over him.

Look, I don’t want to say Chelsea was intentionally trying to get pregnant there, but if I were Adam, I would have used a condom, and made sure I brought them (and there were no needles by the side of her bed).  Although, if I were Adam, I probably wouldn’t have kept messing with her head like that, but I try not to be a douche.

As expected, the entire Chelsea segment revolved around this new Adam situation with all her friends looking at her like she may need to check herself into some institute sooner rather than later.   I’m not trying to be harsh here, but if the entire season is Chelsea embarrassing herself over Adam again, I may lose it.

Leah

Leah picked up where the reenactment left off following the pregnancy / miscarriage timeline. I’m really almost at a loss of words for the Leah segment.  It’s a sad thing that happened to her, and I’m sure she was devastated when it actually happened. The problem is that all her scenes are basically forcing her to reenact one of the tougher situations of her life and you can tell in the acting.  Watching her break the news to Corey was one of the most painful acting jobs we had to see on the show in a long time. I mean during their ‘brief’ conversation, it clearly got dark out.  It gets hard to take serious when her segments look like some movie you’ll find on lifetime at 4am.  Hopefully the cameras actually caught something live this season.

Side note, it was pretty funny when Leah sat Jeremy down to talk about how she thinks they’re moving fast.  Yes, always a good time to talk about that after you get pregnant and engaged, and then funny when you know she didn’t slow down at all.

Kailyn

The Kailyn story also picked up right where season 3 ended off.  Not just about the actual content, but Kailyn’s insane jealousy over Jo’s new girlfriend Vee.  More stuff the cameras missed (or cut out due to the Amber/Gary fallout), apparently Kailyn was doing a drop off/pick up of Isaac and Jo showed up with his girlfriend Vee. In Kailyn-land, this is against the rules because only she is allowed to have new people in Isaac’s life, and only she is allowed to randomly introduce them to their ex.

Well, based on Jo’s conversation with his family, Kailyn basically freaked out and slapped him in the face when he called her on that very double standard.  He also alleges that the only time he touched Kailyn was to defend himself against her before she punched him in the face.  Kailyn’s side of the story wasn’t as clear, and she did imply that she got a little aggressive, so while there is no confirmation, it sounds like Jo’s story may be on the more accurate side of things.  Of course he probably wasn’t an angel in the situation, but he’s smart enough to know he’s on camera and doesn’t want to admit anything incriminating.

As we seen in the previews of season 4, Kailyn ends up shoving Javi at some point, so we do know she has quite the temper. I don’t want to completely defend Jo simply because there is no video evidence (thanks MTV), and as someone said on twitter, there is her side, his side, and the truth.

Jenelle

This was another quiet episode for Jenelle, as it merely introduced us to the former love of her life, Gary Head.  If you’ve been reading this blog for the past few months, you’ll know that’s when Jenelle’s life went from wild to crazy, so I have a feeling this segment was just the calm before a major storm.  It was nice to actually see Jenelle appear happy for once.  I think I briefly remember that window when she actually seemed like she was getting her stuff together.  That was a good day.

What did you think about the episode?  Feel free to chat about it here!

leah and jeremy

First let me say, I’m feeling better and I hope to have posts on a more regular basis again starting this week.  I will finally be able to answer your e-mails and look for more tips, suggestions, etc.   With that out of the way, tonight was either the season 3 finale, or season 3 mid-season finale.  I can’t really tell because I’m getting different reports from different people.  Chelsea herself said “Oh wow, season 4 looks good” or something to that affect during the previews, yet MTV keeps calling it just a mid-season “break”.  So starting Feb 18th, are they going to be airing season 4, which is the last season they recorded for the cast?

On to a recap of sorts.  It was really hard tonight because it was a pretty slow episode, unless you count the amount of times I wanted to smash my face into the keyboard.  A quick recap, Leah goes on a pregnancy tour, Chelsea finally passed her GED, Jenelle found out that Andrew is indeed the father of Jace, and Kailyn looked like a raging bitch.

Leah

I mentioned that Leah’s segment was about her pregnancy tour, and that’s pretty much all we got.  This was the episode where she went around and told her friends and family about the news.  It wouldn’t be complete without breaking the news to Corey in 5th grade fashion by writing a “Y” on a screen to confirm the girl who cheated on him before their wedding is now engaged and pregnant about 10 minutes after their divorce.  What heart Corey had left in his chest was ripped out with a rusty saw, stomped on with high heels and then flushed down the toilet.

To his credit, Corey did get a few shots in by mentioning her career stat sheet by that point in her life.  Had the pregnancy gone through, she was looking at 3 kids by 2 different guys and 2 marriages before the age of 20.  Speaking of pregnancy, side note, I was told Leah did have her child yesterday I believe, so congrats to her.  If you’re keeping track, this was her 3rd pregnancy as the first had twins, and second miscarried.

Needless to say, I felt Corey’s pain a bit here.  My ex ran off and practically got married and had kids nearly as quick, but I didn’t have to sit there and hear every detail about it when it happened.  Not only does he have to read it online, but deal with her leading him on a bit while she’s moving on with some other guy at a rapid pace. Keep in mind, as he was hearing it, he thought there was a possibility of them still getting back together, how is that for a double whammy?

Chelsea

MTV somehow managed to take the story of Chelsea getting her GED and stretch it into a full season worth of content.  That is of course if you take away the other major story in her life, the way she gushes over a guy who treats her like crap.

Well, I am not as talented as the MTV editors because I can’t think of a damn thing to write about her.  She passed her GED, and got into a cosmetology school as a result.  That was Chelsea’s night, and if you do it surrounding her embarrassing herself over Adam, it was her season. Congrats for passing the GED though.

Kailyn

Let’s see, when I try to be nice on Twitter, it’s generally me saying nice things about Kailyn how she’s mature, level headed, etc.  I had a pretty tough night tweeting because my ‘go-to’ person for compliments was acting the fool tonight.  Even major Kailyn supporters can’t deny how absurd she was throughout the episode.  First, Jo’s girlfriend Vee decides to write her a letter explaining the situation and essentially offering her ‘olive branch’.  This is met with instant resistance and dumb, jealous comments by Kailyn about how she doesn’t want to meet Vee and pretty much has no interest in doing so.

Coming off an argument about meeting Vee, Kailyn throws her son a birthday party and naturally invites Jo to it.  However, in Kailyn-land, it’s alright to not only invite Jo, but invite her new boyfriend that she’s been dating for about 5 minutes as well.  This way, Jo can meet Javi and all will be well in Kailyn-land.  Wait, what?   So you’re freaking out about meeting Jo’s girlfriend but casually bring new guys around whenever you want?  Come on, it’s hard to defend that.

Despite the double standards, Jo never calls her out on it and instead gets another lecture from Kailyn about how she doesn’t want Vee to be a mother figure to her son, blah blah blah.  But, she’s not jealous… no, not at all.

Jenelle

Naturally, Chelsea was the most boring person on the show, but surprisingly Jenelle was not far behind this episode.  The show revolved around making her scumbag ex-bf (and the father of Jace), Andrew, to take a DNA test to finally confirm it was his seed that beat out the other male love juice that was inside her around the same time (gross visual).

Well, in the words of Maury and Jerry – Andrew, you ARE the father!

I can go off on how much of a douchebag he appeared to be, but honestly this was just a blip on the radar in the life of Jenelle.  Andrew will likely never be mentioned again, and next time we see her she’ll be back with Kieffer and hooking up with that Gary guy.

Jenelle Evans new mug shot

The Internet is blowing up today about the article posted in the NYPost last night about the possibility of Teen Mom 2 being cancelled due to Jenelle being Jenelle.

My biggest question is, what took them so long?

I’m going to say it, Teen Mom 2 has probably the worst cast of people you could possibly want for a show that is supposed to create awareness about teenage pregnancy.  Jenelle is an obvious wreck, but is she the only reason the show has gone down the tubes?  Not by a long shot.

There is only one mother there who represents a strong, independent woman who is trying to lead the best life possible for her child, and that is Kailyn.  While Chelsea and Leah also appear to be good mothers, they are pretty terrible role models.  One is a spoiled “daddys girl” who is brutally obsessed with the father of her child, to a point where it’s pathetic to watch.  The other is a girl who has been pregnant 3 times (sadly one miscarried), married twice and is about to have 3 kids before the age of 21.  In addition, she sends out messages like government assistance is bad, despite clearly being a candidate if not for the Teen Mom 2 lottery she won.  (It is debatable if she meets and marries Jeremy – who now supports her – if she isn’t on the show)

I know Jenelle is allegedly the reason Teen Mom 2 may not return after their filmed fourth season, and people probably want me to tear into her because of it, but I’m not going to.  Why?  Because there is no need.  Everyone knows she is a terrible role model, and was cast as a ratings grab for the series.  She did her job as Teen Mom 2 is one of the highest rated shows on the network, so it’s only natural she’d also be the scapegoat when the show collapses in on itself.

If it’s true that Teen Mom 2 won’t return after season 4, it won’t be solely on Jenelle’s shoulders.  It won’t even be on the dull rest of the cast.  It will be the same reason that Jersey Shore and Teen Mom 1 ended.   The problems the cast give the network become less worth the reward when that cast starts demanding more money.  The network that became filthy rich off of shows like Jackass is not going to suddenly take a moral high ground because one of the cast members became a literal “teen mom junky”.

They could just as easily scrap Jenelle and make the show about the 3 remaining moms, but are the same amount of people going to tune in to watch Chelsea cry over her ex-boyfriend, Leah on marriage #5 and baby #8 or Kailyn doing exciting things like taking Isaac for his first haircut?   It’s either keep Jenelle and the headaches she brings, or scrap the entire show.  I highly doubt there is a 3rd option on the table.

So I am sick, but rather than lay in bed and cry myself to sleep like it’s my ex’s birthday, I decided to rough it out and not only live tweet, but give you guys a half-assed recap.  I know it’s probably not going to be nearly as deep as Melinda’s recaps, but it’s hard to tweet, recap and smash yourself in the head while watching some of the moves these girls make.

On to the show… (btw, I have been going over e-mails about the guest blogger and replying to many.  If you haven’t received a reply, you either sent after I got sick and haven’t had the energy yet, or my e-mail may have been lost in spam.  I am going to reply to everyone regardless)

Leah

So Leah’s story revolves around the terrible re-enactment of her engagement to Jeremy.  They dropped the girls off at Corey’s so he can celebrate their birthday with them (which we see about 2 seconds of), and went to a cabin in the woods.  While that sounds like a plot to a billion horror movies, this one actually turned out well for Leah, if you’re into the whole marriage thing.

Jeremy made Leah breakfast in bed to surprise her with the engagement.  While the acting was on par with a poorly made adult film, especially how Leah pretended to wake up despite having hair and makeup done, Jeremy has come out and said a lot of these scenes were re-created.  The reality is, MTV wasn’t there to catch a lot of their early relationship, so in order to make the show fit together, they had to do that with a lot of things… first date, first engagement, and apparently first pregnancy test (which we almost got to witness in detail).

Yes, Leah removed her IUD because Jeremy wants a child, and without fail it did not take long for her to become pregnant.  Sadly, off the top of my head I think this pregnancy ends tragically with a miscarriage, but the virus in my brain could be thinking of something else.  I can look at my archives, but that takes the fun out of speculating.

While at the salon, Leah’s friend tries to hint around that relationships don’t always last (like her first), and tries to give Leah a voice of reason.  That voice fell on deaf ears as Leah just went ahead and told her she thinks she’s pregnant. Later in the episode, she takes the test (which I already mentioned) and it is confirmed.

Kailyn

I know people like Kailyn, and I do too, but there really isn’t much to recap about her segment.   She got to know Javi a bit more, and introduced him to Isaac to make sure he’s not someone who will basically sit on their phone during important first events.  Sorry Jo, even the guy in me can’t defend the haircut thing.  If your child is getting their very first haircut, try to at least feign interest.  It’s one of those things you probably won’t forget, unless you were sitting on your phone the entire time sexting your gf.  (did I just use the word sexting?  How old AM I?)

Chelsea

Chelsea’s story continues where the last 10 episodes left off.  She continues to work at getting her GED while crying over Adam.  This week, she was crying because it was his birthday and she wasn’t celebrating it with him.   Yes, kind of sad event, but it was completely diminished by the fact that Chelsea cries over anything related to Adam.

The biggest story of the week was the fact that Chelsea moved out of her old apt into what I can only assume is a tanning booth, and she finished her GED leaving us wondering if next week will just be about Adam only.  If so, kill me.

Jenelle

This week in the life of Jenelle, she receives a call from the father, or alleged father of her mothers soon to be adopted son, Jace.  This brings out memories like the fact that about a month before she was taking her own pregnancy test, she was off banging one of her friends ex-boyfriends at a party.

To anyone following Jenelle over the past few years, this really came as no surprise to anyone watching.  The biggest surprise did come when she spoke with Andrew later in the episode and actually sounded like an adult while asking him to get a DNA test.

By the way, during said phone call, Andrew asked how old Jace – his alleged son – is.  Let that sink in.

Discuss the episode like I know you guys love to do!  I hope my recap didn’t suck!

jenelle-courtland

 

First off, I know I’m a slacker.  I didn’t live tweet Teen Mom this week, and this is my first post since Jenelle announced Courtland’s sperm somehow penetrated her body.  In addition to being extremely bored with this season of Teen Mom 2, the little one has the flu and taking care of her was more important than watching Teen Mom 2.  However, if you want a recap, I’m going to guess it was more of this:

– Chelsea embarrasses herself over Adam, goes to her fathers house to get lectured about how dumb she’s acting, and tries for her GED.
– Kailyn tells anyone who listens about her Texas trip and how she wants to move there.  People look at her like they look at me every time I say I want to move to Florida when it’s cold out.  They know it’s not going to happen and it’s just a pipe dream.
– Leah continues to re-create her first moments with Jeremy for MTV.  Maybe in some scenes she can remove her wedding band that he already gave her by then?
– Jenelle is Jenelle

And speaking of Jenelle, that’s what this story is about.  Her past few days have been very interesting, just as her past month really.  She got married just over a month ago, and most of the people predicted the marriage wouldn’t even last as long as Kim Kardashian’s marriages.   Then she announced she was pregnant only weeks after Courtland was over the moon about her “visit to the shrink”.

Well, as in the life of Jenelle, if you blink, you may miss something major, and that’s almost what I did this week with our daughter being sick.  From what I’m gathering, Jenelle went to the hospital yet again, and it was possibly related to something Courtland did.  Jenelle won’t confirm nor deny he did anything physical, which allows everyone to just speculate he beat her.   Of course, she has been shown to be a pathological liar over the years, so I’m not going to jump on that bandwagon unless he’s arrested over it.

However, what she did also confess to was that Courtland is not a loyal boyfriend and tries to have sex with anyone he speaks with.  Again, coming from Jenelle, you always have to take it with a grain of salt, but this one wouldn’t shock me.  She did post a picture of an envelope with a bunch of girls names on it, with one labeled “DTF”.  For privacy reasons, I won’t link to it, but it’s on her twitter and easy to find. Does that mean he cheated?  Hard to say, she claims it’s his handwriting, and honestly he probably did.  Neither of them seem like people of high character, so it wouldn’t shock me if they were both getting pieces on the side.

Courtland did tweet that he never did anything to hurt his wife, and apparently he is in poor health so he was doing things like visiting his friends grave before he went.  Jenelle posted that he is fine and just scared to come back to town.  So is Courtland dying?  Did he beat her?  Does anyone really care?

On a side note, if you want to be a guest writer on the blog, hit me up at stevebeans -at- teenmomjunkies -dot- com. I’d like to keep this blog updated often, but don’t always have the time.  I will write a new post explaining more, but in summary you’ll be submitting posts, Melinda and I will review them, and if we like it (think it’s funny, and/or informative), we’ll publish giving you credit. If you continue to share stories, you will become an official guest writer.