Teen Mom Bios: Maci | Farrah | Catelynn | Amber | Leah | Chelsea | Kailyn | Jenelle Teen Mom Junkies

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Radaronline is reporting that Jenelle Evans will be heading back to jail, although this time it should be pretty brief.  She had a court date scheduled this morning for the charge of cyber stalking from her ex-boyfriend Gary Head.  According to people close to Jenelle (aka Jenelle), she “didn’t even know about the charges and they were from months ago”.  It is kind of weird that she didn’t know about the charges, yet knew they were from months ago.

Jenelle was out of town today (we can only speculate where), and completely missed the court date.  The same source said that Jenelle will turn herself in, get a new mugshot for her collection (my words), make bail and be done with it.  She is no stranger to the cyber stalking scene as she and former boss ‘Duffy’ went back and forth with those charges a few months back.

What I wonder is this… Farrah had her sex tape done to ‘preserve how hot she looks’, I wonder if all these mugshots are so Jenelle can remember what she looked like during her Teen Mom 2 years. Someone should tell her to just open a magazine because the mugshot look is not the way to go.  I kid, I know she’s just a major screw up right now.

Jenelle Evans wears jeans and smiles with fans as she goes into court

It’ll come as a surprise to nobody when I say that Jenelle is broke.  I’m pretty sure there have been rumors about it for awhile now, and I’ve probably posted about it before.  The reason why I’m making this post is because OK Magazine did a little investigating and got some actual details.

I knew the moms made a decent amount of money, but OK is reporting that Jenelle made $190k last year from her back to back seasons ($75k a pop) and $40k in bonuses.  Quite the bargain when you consider the cash cow that Teen Mom has been for MTV.  It breaks down to $6,250 per episode for Jenelle which is a far cry from the $150k main members of the Jersey Shore received. Sure, Teen Mom 2 had only about 1/3rd of the ratings Jersey Shore did while that show was in it’s prime, but Jenelle made 4% of Snooki.  Those girls needed new agents.

Another c**t punt to Jenelle was her contract forbid her from making money from guest appearances or magazine deals (though I’m sure she got around the magazine deal part by having Courtland leak the stories). She did score a little break with her Sulia gig (as they called it, paid-to-tweet) which is an extra $10k or so a year, but still chump change compared to her Jersey Shore counterparts… or even fellow Teen Moms.

While we all know she’s basically broke now, and can pretty much figure out why, I wonder if that also means Jace is broke, or she really did put money away for him. I mean he is the reason she was able to get on the show in the first place, so hopefully he will have a little money when he’s 18.

What will Jenelle do for money now that TM2 is basically over? After seeing Farrah’s recent score with her video deal, or even the fact that her bikini is likely to sell for over $10k, it makes me think it’s only a matter of time for Jenelle to do the same.

Image: OK Magazine

jenelle-weekend

Just a few hours ago, I was browsing for something to write, and I came across a photo of Jenelle playing with Jace.  This was pretty shocking, so I started to write a sarcastic article about it, but then I noticed on her facebook page, it actually seemed like she was cleaning up.  After toning it down and posting a good piece on Jenelle, I find out that her fan page is run by someone else who is likely just covering up the shit storm really happening in her life right now.

While I was writing the article, Jenelle was appearing in court dealing with her heroin possession charges. Mr and Mrs Jenelle Evans were arrested on April 23rd for possession of 12 bindles of heroin (A bindle is roughly the size of piece of Orbit or Trident gum). Needless to say, it hasn’t been 90 days since that arrest, like her key chain suggested, and I was also informed Jenelle was partying this past weekend even though I’m told it is a violation of her bail to leave the state.

So, congrats to Jenelle’s writer on her facebook page.  You got me.  You found a time when I was searching for junk to post and got some propaganda past me. That won’t happen again!  My readers deserve proper snark, not this fake staged crap.

Jenelle may or may not be clean from heroin at this very moment, but her uploaded photo of Tori high as hell rolling a blunt this past weekend suggests she’s not entirely clean.

tori-blunt

Nice look, Tori. I think it’s time for Intervention to appear.

 

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I know, the title is a bit snarky, but after the rough time Jenelle has had over the past few years, it’s actually kind of refreshing to follow her facebook page.  She’s posting pictures of her 90 day sober key chain, spending time with Jace, and actually doing real stuff.

I also know this is Jenelle, so the happy image of her and her son can quickly be replaced with another mugshot by the weekend. However, since the last 100 or so Jenelle stories have been about her drug use and other negative images, I figured I’d inform people she’s actually going through a clean cycle.  Let’s just hope it stays this time.

Let’s see what you guys really think though…

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First off, I’m still not sure whether or not we’re calling it a series finale or season finale. As far as I know, they haven’t been shooting any footage of the moms, so unless they somehow managed to keep it a super secret (which they’re terrible at), it may be a long time before we get to see Jenelle and crew on tv again… if ever.

With that said, after watching back to back seasons of the girls, and tonight’s episode especially, I’m not sure that’s a bad thing.  The season had a broad range from completely boring and pointless to pretty shocking even for Teen Mom standards.  Let’s start with the boring…

Chelsea

I don’t really know what to say.  Her season ended the same way it has been for a long time now – boring.  There was a moment of humor when Aubree locked her out of her bedroom, but that was probably the highlight of the season for our carrot faced mom.  I don’t think it’s a bad thing, she’s living a relatively normal life and not out starring in porn or shooting up heroin.  I doubt she’s going to be starring in any spin-offs and will eventually finish her schooling (maybe), get married and be forgotten.  I talk like this is the series finale because I strongly believe it was, especially considering I don’t know if they can find another story out of Chelsea’s life worth watching.

Jenelle

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, there is Jenelle and her adventures.  She is TV’s biggest screw-up and has even reality tv vets like myself shocked at times, especially tonight when she and Kieffer were strung out looking for Xanax.  If you’ve ever seen a movie like Requiem for a Dream, or Trainspotting, her scenes tonight literally looked like they could have been placed in one of those movies. It was kind of a reality check to see someone we feel like we ‘know’ all messed up like that.  Sure, we’ve seen random people on ‘Intervention’, but years of blogging and watching Teen Mom and following these girls, it was definitely a different experience.

It’s easy to make fun of her, trust me on that… shit, half of my material when I live tweet is about Jenelle.  However, the ‘realness’ of watching her so completely out of her mind makes me hope that she really does get help one of these days.  She’ll probably never earn custody of Jace, but she is heading down a terrible path that’s only getting worse.

Leah

I know the recap hasn’t been very funny to this point, and it probably will be similar with Leah.  Once her terribly acted, staged ‘meeting’ of Jeremy was done, her season revolved around her low points as a girlfriend and ‘bride-to-be’.  Bouncing between Corey and Jeremy, playing with Jeremy’s mind like it was nothing, then crawling back to him the second it didn’t work out with Corey. I would say the season really exposed Leah, but she’s been exposed for quite some time in my eyes, and those who like her still like her, those who don’t likely still don’t.  Leah certainly didn’t win anyone over this season, and probably lost more fans than she gained.

Tonight’s episode didn’t really have the love drama as it had the Ali drama.  The entire night was devoted to getting a muscle biopsy done to try and help determine the walking problems.  I think my mind was spacing a bit towards the end, but I don’t recall them ever really giving an absolute diagnosis on her condition.  They were worried it was something that could effect the heart, liver, etc but was it ever confirmed?

Kailyn

It’s benefits time for Kailyn! Before Javi shipped out for basic training, Kailyn rushed to get married to make sure she’s under the military benefits that she’s been talking about all season (Seriously, are they that good?).  I’m sure she and her benefits will live a happy life together… err, I mean she and Javi.  Yes, Javi…

Her season as a whole definitely hurt her more than helped.  Kailyn was exposed as a very selfish, hypocritical and jealous ex-girlfriend to Jo, and started showing some anger issues we really haven’t seen in the past… at least not much on camera.  She was the one mom I respected quite a bit heading into this recent two season stretch, but has come away as probably my least favorite.

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What did you think of the episode and season in general?

Discuss….

On the heels of the possible series finale of Teen Mom 2 tonight, Jenelle is trying to stir the pot and remain a little relevant before people forget about her starting tomorrow. Despite constant arrests, leaked nude photos and many, many drug scandals, Jenelle Evans decided to get all worked up that Farrah is still cashing in on her 15 minutes.  She sent out a tweet:

“So u recorded both of u, while u guys had sex? Skanky… 2 Kudos to u!”

Yes, Jenelle said this.  Not Chelsea, not Catelynn, heck not even Kailyn… but Jenelle. You would think after all Jenelle has been through in her life, she would be the last person to cast judgement on another person.  I’m not buying it though, this is clearly just a publicity stunt.  Her little tweets are getting the attention of blogs like PerezHilton, so you know she’s loving all the attention.

I think we all know, if Vivid approached Jenelle with a $25k contract to do the same thing, Jenelle would be naked in bed with a pen in her hand ready to sign the contract before he got to finish his offer.

Anyway, like I mentioned above, finale is on tonight, going to live tweet it, so follow along for the fun!