Teen Mom Bios: Maci | Farrah | Catelynn | Amber | Leah | Chelsea | Kailyn | Jenelle Teen Mom Junkies

leah and jeremy

First let me say, I’m feeling better and I hope to have posts on a more regular basis again starting this week.  I will finally be able to answer your e-mails and look for more tips, suggestions, etc.   With that out of the way, tonight was either the season 3 finale, or season 3 mid-season finale.  I can’t really tell because I’m getting different reports from different people.  Chelsea herself said “Oh wow, season 4 looks good” or something to that affect during the previews, yet MTV keeps calling it just a mid-season “break”.  So starting Feb 18th, are they going to be airing season 4, which is the last season they recorded for the cast?

On to a recap of sorts.  It was really hard tonight because it was a pretty slow episode, unless you count the amount of times I wanted to smash my face into the keyboard.  A quick recap, Leah goes on a pregnancy tour, Chelsea finally passed her GED, Jenelle found out that Andrew is indeed the father of Jace, and Kailyn looked like a raging bitch.

Leah

I mentioned that Leah’s segment was about her pregnancy tour, and that’s pretty much all we got.  This was the episode where she went around and told her friends and family about the news.  It wouldn’t be complete without breaking the news to Corey in 5th grade fashion by writing a “Y” on a screen to confirm the girl who cheated on him before their wedding is now engaged and pregnant about 10 minutes after their divorce.  What heart Corey had left in his chest was ripped out with a rusty saw, stomped on with high heels and then flushed down the toilet.

To his credit, Corey did get a few shots in by mentioning her career stat sheet by that point in her life.  Had the pregnancy gone through, she was looking at 3 kids by 2 different guys and 2 marriages before the age of 20.  Speaking of pregnancy, side note, I was told Leah did have her child yesterday I believe, so congrats to her.  If you’re keeping track, this was her 3rd pregnancy as the first had twins, and second miscarried.

Needless to say, I felt Corey’s pain a bit here.  My ex ran off and practically got married and had kids nearly as quick, but I didn’t have to sit there and hear every detail about it when it happened.  Not only does he have to read it online, but deal with her leading him on a bit while she’s moving on with some other guy at a rapid pace. Keep in mind, as he was hearing it, he thought there was a possibility of them still getting back together, how is that for a double whammy?

Chelsea

MTV somehow managed to take the story of Chelsea getting her GED and stretch it into a full season worth of content.  That is of course if you take away the other major story in her life, the way she gushes over a guy who treats her like crap.

Well, I am not as talented as the MTV editors because I can’t think of a damn thing to write about her.  She passed her GED, and got into a cosmetology school as a result.  That was Chelsea’s night, and if you do it surrounding her embarrassing herself over Adam, it was her season. Congrats for passing the GED though.

Kailyn

Let’s see, when I try to be nice on Twitter, it’s generally me saying nice things about Kailyn how she’s mature, level headed, etc.  I had a pretty tough night tweeting because my ‘go-to’ person for compliments was acting the fool tonight.  Even major Kailyn supporters can’t deny how absurd she was throughout the episode.  First, Jo’s girlfriend Vee decides to write her a letter explaining the situation and essentially offering her ‘olive branch’.  This is met with instant resistance and dumb, jealous comments by Kailyn about how she doesn’t want to meet Vee and pretty much has no interest in doing so.

Coming off an argument about meeting Vee, Kailyn throws her son a birthday party and naturally invites Jo to it.  However, in Kailyn-land, it’s alright to not only invite Jo, but invite her new boyfriend that she’s been dating for about 5 minutes as well.  This way, Jo can meet Javi and all will be well in Kailyn-land.  Wait, what?   So you’re freaking out about meeting Jo’s girlfriend but casually bring new guys around whenever you want?  Come on, it’s hard to defend that.

Despite the double standards, Jo never calls her out on it and instead gets another lecture from Kailyn about how she doesn’t want Vee to be a mother figure to her son, blah blah blah.  But, she’s not jealous… no, not at all.

Jenelle

Naturally, Chelsea was the most boring person on the show, but surprisingly Jenelle was not far behind this episode.  The show revolved around making her scumbag ex-bf (and the father of Jace), Andrew, to take a DNA test to finally confirm it was his seed that beat out the other male love juice that was inside her around the same time (gross visual).

Well, in the words of Maury and Jerry – Andrew, you ARE the father!

I can go off on how much of a douchebag he appeared to be, but honestly this was just a blip on the radar in the life of Jenelle.  Andrew will likely never be mentioned again, and next time we see her she’ll be back with Kieffer and hooking up with that Gary guy.

Jenelle Evans new mug shot

The Internet is blowing up today about the article posted in the NYPost last night about the possibility of Teen Mom 2 being cancelled due to Jenelle being Jenelle.

My biggest question is, what took them so long?

I’m going to say it, Teen Mom 2 has probably the worst cast of people you could possibly want for a show that is supposed to create awareness about teenage pregnancy.  Jenelle is an obvious wreck, but is she the only reason the show has gone down the tubes?  Not by a long shot.

There is only one mother there who represents a strong, independent woman who is trying to lead the best life possible for her child, and that is Kailyn.  While Chelsea and Leah also appear to be good mothers, they are pretty terrible role models.  One is a spoiled “daddys girl” who is brutally obsessed with the father of her child, to a point where it’s pathetic to watch.  The other is a girl who has been pregnant 3 times (sadly one miscarried), married twice and is about to have 3 kids before the age of 21.  In addition, she sends out messages like government assistance is bad, despite clearly being a candidate if not for the Teen Mom 2 lottery she won.  (It is debatable if she meets and marries Jeremy – who now supports her – if she isn’t on the show)

I know Jenelle is allegedly the reason Teen Mom 2 may not return after their filmed fourth season, and people probably want me to tear into her because of it, but I’m not going to.  Why?  Because there is no need.  Everyone knows she is a terrible role model, and was cast as a ratings grab for the series.  She did her job as Teen Mom 2 is one of the highest rated shows on the network, so it’s only natural she’d also be the scapegoat when the show collapses in on itself.

If it’s true that Teen Mom 2 won’t return after season 4, it won’t be solely on Jenelle’s shoulders.  It won’t even be on the dull rest of the cast.  It will be the same reason that Jersey Shore and Teen Mom 1 ended.   The problems the cast give the network become less worth the reward when that cast starts demanding more money.  The network that became filthy rich off of shows like Jackass is not going to suddenly take a moral high ground because one of the cast members became a literal “teen mom junky”.

They could just as easily scrap Jenelle and make the show about the 3 remaining moms, but are the same amount of people going to tune in to watch Chelsea cry over her ex-boyfriend, Leah on marriage #5 and baby #8 or Kailyn doing exciting things like taking Isaac for his first haircut?   It’s either keep Jenelle and the headaches she brings, or scrap the entire show.  I highly doubt there is a 3rd option on the table.

So I am sick, but rather than lay in bed and cry myself to sleep like it’s my ex’s birthday, I decided to rough it out and not only live tweet, but give you guys a half-assed recap.  I know it’s probably not going to be nearly as deep as Melinda’s recaps, but it’s hard to tweet, recap and smash yourself in the head while watching some of the moves these girls make.

On to the show… (btw, I have been going over e-mails about the guest blogger and replying to many.  If you haven’t received a reply, you either sent after I got sick and haven’t had the energy yet, or my e-mail may have been lost in spam.  I am going to reply to everyone regardless)

Leah

So Leah’s story revolves around the terrible re-enactment of her engagement to Jeremy.  They dropped the girls off at Corey’s so he can celebrate their birthday with them (which we see about 2 seconds of), and went to a cabin in the woods.  While that sounds like a plot to a billion horror movies, this one actually turned out well for Leah, if you’re into the whole marriage thing.

Jeremy made Leah breakfast in bed to surprise her with the engagement.  While the acting was on par with a poorly made adult film, especially how Leah pretended to wake up despite having hair and makeup done, Jeremy has come out and said a lot of these scenes were re-created.  The reality is, MTV wasn’t there to catch a lot of their early relationship, so in order to make the show fit together, they had to do that with a lot of things… first date, first engagement, and apparently first pregnancy test (which we almost got to witness in detail).

Yes, Leah removed her IUD because Jeremy wants a child, and without fail it did not take long for her to become pregnant.  Sadly, off the top of my head I think this pregnancy ends tragically with a miscarriage, but the virus in my brain could be thinking of something else.  I can look at my archives, but that takes the fun out of speculating.

While at the salon, Leah’s friend tries to hint around that relationships don’t always last (like her first), and tries to give Leah a voice of reason.  That voice fell on deaf ears as Leah just went ahead and told her she thinks she’s pregnant. Later in the episode, she takes the test (which I already mentioned) and it is confirmed.

Kailyn

I know people like Kailyn, and I do too, but there really isn’t much to recap about her segment.   She got to know Javi a bit more, and introduced him to Isaac to make sure he’s not someone who will basically sit on their phone during important first events.  Sorry Jo, even the guy in me can’t defend the haircut thing.  If your child is getting their very first haircut, try to at least feign interest.  It’s one of those things you probably won’t forget, unless you were sitting on your phone the entire time sexting your gf.  (did I just use the word sexting?  How old AM I?)

Chelsea

Chelsea’s story continues where the last 10 episodes left off.  She continues to work at getting her GED while crying over Adam.  This week, she was crying because it was his birthday and she wasn’t celebrating it with him.   Yes, kind of sad event, but it was completely diminished by the fact that Chelsea cries over anything related to Adam.

The biggest story of the week was the fact that Chelsea moved out of her old apt into what I can only assume is a tanning booth, and she finished her GED leaving us wondering if next week will just be about Adam only.  If so, kill me.

Jenelle

This week in the life of Jenelle, she receives a call from the father, or alleged father of her mothers soon to be adopted son, Jace.  This brings out memories like the fact that about a month before she was taking her own pregnancy test, she was off banging one of her friends ex-boyfriends at a party.

To anyone following Jenelle over the past few years, this really came as no surprise to anyone watching.  The biggest surprise did come when she spoke with Andrew later in the episode and actually sounded like an adult while asking him to get a DNA test.

By the way, during said phone call, Andrew asked how old Jace – his alleged son – is.  Let that sink in.

Discuss the episode like I know you guys love to do!  I hope my recap didn’t suck!

jenelle-courtland

 

First off, I know I’m a slacker.  I didn’t live tweet Teen Mom this week, and this is my first post since Jenelle announced Courtland’s sperm somehow penetrated her body.  In addition to being extremely bored with this season of Teen Mom 2, the little one has the flu and taking care of her was more important than watching Teen Mom 2.  However, if you want a recap, I’m going to guess it was more of this:

– Chelsea embarrasses herself over Adam, goes to her fathers house to get lectured about how dumb she’s acting, and tries for her GED.
– Kailyn tells anyone who listens about her Texas trip and how she wants to move there.  People look at her like they look at me every time I say I want to move to Florida when it’s cold out.  They know it’s not going to happen and it’s just a pipe dream.
– Leah continues to re-create her first moments with Jeremy for MTV.  Maybe in some scenes she can remove her wedding band that he already gave her by then?
– Jenelle is Jenelle

And speaking of Jenelle, that’s what this story is about.  Her past few days have been very interesting, just as her past month really.  She got married just over a month ago, and most of the people predicted the marriage wouldn’t even last as long as Kim Kardashian’s marriages.   Then she announced she was pregnant only weeks after Courtland was over the moon about her “visit to the shrink”.

Well, as in the life of Jenelle, if you blink, you may miss something major, and that’s almost what I did this week with our daughter being sick.  From what I’m gathering, Jenelle went to the hospital yet again, and it was possibly related to something Courtland did.  Jenelle won’t confirm nor deny he did anything physical, which allows everyone to just speculate he beat her.   Of course, she has been shown to be a pathological liar over the years, so I’m not going to jump on that bandwagon unless he’s arrested over it.

However, what she did also confess to was that Courtland is not a loyal boyfriend and tries to have sex with anyone he speaks with.  Again, coming from Jenelle, you always have to take it with a grain of salt, but this one wouldn’t shock me.  She did post a picture of an envelope with a bunch of girls names on it, with one labeled “DTF”.  For privacy reasons, I won’t link to it, but it’s on her twitter and easy to find. Does that mean he cheated?  Hard to say, she claims it’s his handwriting, and honestly he probably did.  Neither of them seem like people of high character, so it wouldn’t shock me if they were both getting pieces on the side.

Courtland did tweet that he never did anything to hurt his wife, and apparently he is in poor health so he was doing things like visiting his friends grave before he went.  Jenelle posted that he is fine and just scared to come back to town.  So is Courtland dying?  Did he beat her?  Does anyone really care?

On a side note, if you want to be a guest writer on the blog, hit me up at stevebeans -at- teenmomjunkies -dot- com. I’d like to keep this blog updated often, but don’t always have the time.  I will write a new post explaining more, but in summary you’ll be submitting posts, Melinda and I will review them, and if we like it (think it’s funny, and/or informative), we’ll publish giving you credit. If you continue to share stories, you will become an official guest writer.

jenelle-courtland-pregnant

So I was sitting around this morning and something didn’t feel right.  Did I forget the stove on?  Did I lock my keys in my car?  Did I go the gym and push so hard I had an accident without any change of clothes?  Nope, none of those luckily.   It still felt like something was wrong and I couldn’t shake it.

Then, I saw it… Radar Online announced that Jenelle and Courtland Evans have been grinding genitals without protection and one of his seeds somehow managed to bravely march through the tunnels of Jenelle to secure a spot in her 15 minutes of fame.  The path was a rough one, as his soldiers had to pass the dead, wounded and strung out seeds of both Gary and Kieffer.  Despite the mission at hand, seeds kept dropping out of the march to die with the rest as they lay in the tunnels with needles sticking out of their tails.   There was one lone soldier who just wouldn’t give up. Perhaps he had some of the Breaking Bad blue meth, or perhaps he was motivated by his creators tattoo of ‘Alnost Fanous’, we will never know what happened down there.  What we do know is he achieved victory and reached his goal of breaking into Jenelle’s egg.

Some may call it a publicity stunt, some may call it a miracle, and some may just lower their heads and accept this is reality.  Jenelle Evans is indeed pregnant and has created a situation where half of the Teen Mom 2 cast have become pregnant by at least two different guys before the age of 22.

On a side note, I do wonder how much they got paid for the story.  To confirm the reports, Courtland has been retweeting all types of people saying Jenelle is pregnant, and then tweeted:

I can’t comment on anything though I wish I could all I can say is pick up a copy of star magazine or goto http://radaronline.com  to find out

In other words “Radar paid us for the exclusive story and we can’t break our contract with them”. I’m sure they will be bashed for selling the story, but let’s be real,  every mom has sold stories to the tabloids.  On a personal level, I don’t think it’s a publicity stunt, nor do I think they got pregnant to make some extra cash.  I think it’s merely two young people making a questionable decision at a rough stage in their lives (Jenelle was recently in treatment for heroin), and now they’re going to milk it for every penny they can…. kind of like every mom who has appeared on 16 and pregnant.

Oh, it's only my crazy mom again.  No big deal.

Oh, it’s only my crazy mom again. No big deal.

KAILYN

Kail is now home from Texas and tells her friend, Gigi, that she’s thinking of moving there.

When Kailyn goes to Jo’s house the next day, she finds out that her mother, Suzi, stopped by, which makes Kail flip a nutty.  She doesn’t want her mom seeing Isaac, which Jo doesn’t agree with.  He thinks Suzi should be allowed to see Isaac.

Since Suzi has Kail’s number blocked, Kail uses her friend, Mark’s, phone to call her…Suzi just keeps hanging up on Kail, however.  Suzi calls her back and is all, “I don’t have to ask for permission!  He’s my grandson!”  Then she just hangs up again.

With all this mama drama, Kail decides to bring up the subject to Jo.  He thinks they should patch up their differences, and she drops the bombshell that she’s thinking of moving to Texas.  Understandably, Jo doesn’t think this is a great idea.

JENELLE

Jenelle left Josh because they haven’t been getting along.  Big shocker there.  Jenelle ends up moving in with her friend Amber.  The two of them talk about getting a larger place together, where Amber’s son and Jace can share a room.

Babsy approves.

Jenelle misses class to look for a house with Amber.  She decides to “un-enroll” altogether.

When Jenelle brings it up with Babs, Babs jumps across the porch and wrings Jenelle’s neck.  Well, not really, but in my imagination she did.  She just told her it wasn’t a good idea and she still has to pay those loans back, etc.  Babs tells Jenelle to not give up her education.

LEAH

I will reiterate: Leah is really bad at recreating conversations.  I seriously have no idea what she’s talking to Jeremy about.  She’s trying to tell him her decision (about whether or not she’ll give Corey another chance), and it sounds like she isn’t.

THEN! there’s an awkward conversation between Corey and his friend Austin.  Austin looks like he would rather be anywhere but sitting in front of Corey with an MTV camera crew in front of him.

After all these confusing conversations, it appears that she is staying with Jeremy (which we already knew, of course, but I’m pretending this is the first time I heard this news).

Jenelle isn’t the only one missing class to look at houses.  Miss Leah does the same thing.  I sense a recurring theme in this episode.

Note to Leah: Stop playing with your hair!  Sheesh!  It’s almost distracting.  Okay, it’s very distracting.  Or maybe I’m just in a mood today.

When Leah talks to Jeremy later, he says he was thinking about them living together.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she was already pregnant at this point.

CHELSEA

Chelsea mentions Adam the first damn sentence of every single episode.  Do they put her up to that?  Does MTV say, “Okay, now your only story line is Adam, so talk about how you haven’t talked to him.  Then take a GED test or something, and maybe primp in the bathroom after that.”  I’m embarrassed for her.

To kill time, we watch Chelsea chase her dog around for 10 minutes, until he disappears.  Cue the dramatic music.  It turns out her dog was attacked by a neighbor dog, which is really sad.  The dog died.  WHAT THE HELL, MTV???  I kind of want to stop watching this show now.  I mean, come on!  Go back to the Adam drama.

I can’t even talk about Chelsea’s segment anymore.

All you need to know is that she passed her practice test.  Just barely though.