Teen Mom Bios: Maci | Farrah | Catelynn | Amber | Leah | Chelsea | Kailyn | Jenelle Teen Mom Junkies

catelynn and april reported pregnancyRemember when I first wrote about Catelynn reportedly being pregnant and also focused on the bad friend part?  Something a lot of people overlook when these reports are leaked are the ‘friends’ who leak them.  Whether it’s Leah and Jeremy purposely (imo) “leaking” stories to Reality Weekly, Jenelle’s friends selling her out any chance they can, and now Catelynn’s reported longtime “friend” Jamie Pyrzewski.  I thought the Teen Mom circle really just had some pretty terrible shady friends who are quick to cash in on the fame.

What I didn’t expect was this… that “friend” Jamie Pyrzewski was actually some random girl that Catelynn’s mother set up to interview In Touch.  Yes, the story gets wilder.  According to Starcasm (and probably other multiple sources), April set this whole thing up, got pregnancy documents from a local doctor and then acted like Catelynn on the phone to confirm the story.  I was a little hard on In Touch magazine in my last article, and it explains why they were willing to run the story.  I guess I won’t be calling them up and confessing Farrah’s love for me for a quick grand because it’s a lot harder than that…  yet April pulled it off.

I’m really blown away by this, and not because of April did it.  She always seemed super shady to me every time she made an appearance on the show.  The shocking part was how determined she was to come up with such a scheme. I’m not even sure Danny Ocean would come up with something like this… ok, he would, and it would have involved a lot cooler of an entourage as well… but I’m side tracking.  I really didn’t think April Cocainerson (my new name for her) could come up with such a story… simply unreal.

Catelynn and Tyler, it’s time to cut some serious ties. April, Butch.. gone.  Cate’s father Dave?  He’s a super keeper.  Take him and go someplace real far away from the toxic April and Butch.  I know it’s tough, but after this?  Come on. Get out of there and fast.

maci talking about ryan's girlfriend dalis

I have to admit, I’m in over my head right now.  Melinda is in Florida on a much needed vacation, so that leaves me to handle both live tweets and recaps for this episode and next.  Honestly, I’ve written exactly 0 recaps for Teen Mom, as my full time job is basically to keep track of Jenelle’s constantly changing relationship status.  I’ll give it a go, but I doubt it will be as good.

Let’s start with everyone’s favorite – Amber….

AMBER PORTWOOD

Amber is still in the very beautiful rehab facility, most likely paid for by MTV.  They don’t really show much of her because when they do, she’s clearly so drugged up she can barely keep her eyes open.  What little of the Amber segment focused on Gary’s preparations to visit her at some point, and a few third parties mentioning just how bad those two are for each other.

Gary’s mother chatted with him for a little while about her rehab, and reading between the lines she was basically telling him.. “Look Gary.. or should I call you Gary Time and buy a t-shirt so you actually listen to me?  Amber has issues.. the type that a little stint in rehab isn’t going to magically fix.  While that place does wonders for people on the show Intervention, it simply can’t fix crazy”.   Naturally, Gary was in Gary world and didn’t really care what his mother had to say.

On Amber’s side, some creepy looking guy named JJ had Amber call her brother Shawn to talk about how things are going.  While others may have sugar-coated Amber’s relationship at times, Shawn didn’t.  He was very blunt and direct calling the relationship toxic, and saying Gary is controlling and essentially ruining her life.  Like the efforts put forth by Gary’s mom, it was another wasted attempt because Amber was off in Amber world while Shawn was talking.

The segment ended with Gary letting Amber know that he’s going to be bringing Leah out to see her, and they’re going to have some Gary and Amber time (I don’t even want to picture that)

CATELYNN LOWELL

It’s graduation time!  And you know what that means??  Awkwardness!  Why?  Well, for starters, Tyler’s already in college, so I really don’t know what’s up with that.  If I recall, he finished high school a semester early and was able to begin college classes, but that made for any time they talked about the ‘next step’ kind of weird.  He’s already on the next step.

Minor nitpicking aside, it was still a great time for Tyler, but especially for Catelynn.  Her father – Dave (who is moving near her) – was able to make it up for the graduation with her brother who’s sadly paralyzed from an auto accident.  This is great for Cate because Dave is really one cool guy and she seems to really lean on him for support.  The fact that he’s moving up is making it that much better.

Tyler, well, he’s still stuck with Butch and his issues.  Butch is not able to make it to the graduation because he’s getting out of jail one day too late. Look on the bright side though, he’s really coming around!!  He’s actually starting to accept Carly… very nice of him  (*rolls eyes*)

Regardless, congratulations on the graduation you two!

Maci Bookout

Maci, Maci, Maci.. what am I going to do with you?  Her part revolves around Bentley going to FL for the week with Ryan, his parents, and Ryan’s girlfriend Dalis (whom Maci was unaware of at the time).  Well, Maci decided to invite herself down to their family vacation.  Not to intrude, just to “be there if needed”.  Talk about awkward, and then with Dalis coming along, how uncomfortable for this poor girl?

But hey, at least she disguised her intrusion by bringing along some friends so they can all sit around and talk about Ryan and his girlfriend.   Does anyone get the feeling that Maci secretly wants Ryan back real bad but is trying to be very un-Chelsealike about it?

Farrah Abraham

This was essentially the Farrah episode, so I saved the best for last.  First, you have Michael (her father) helping her get comfortable with her new surroundings in Florida, while Farrah does her constant eye rolling any time he tries to give her an ounce of advice.  She took it personal when he said he was thinking of moving down there so he can help her out if needed.  Yes, I get that both he and Deb are being overbearing helicopter grandparents to Sophia, but many single moms would kill for that type of support.  Yet here you have Farrah constantly yelling back at her mother and father whenever they try to help… grr frustrating.

Farrah then decides to interview for a nanny because apparently she needs help with Sophia, but not free help from caring grandparents.  Then, only after she’s all moved in, she does a check on her potential nanny only to find out Farrah is the one kind of living in the crappy neighborhood.  Well done on the pre-move research there.

Finally, we have the dog situation.  Because Farrah learned that she really can’t handle having a dog, she went to her pet shop to pick out a fish.  Of course she doesn’t make it past the dog section before asking to see one of the cute puppies, and instantly falls in love with it.  Showing some restraint and maturity, she puts the puppy back and picks out the fish that Sophia want and they go home.  Hahahah.. just kidding.  This is Farrah.  Ignoring Sophia’s plea for a fish, and the fact that she pretty much sucks as a dog owner, she buys it anyway.   But hey, at least it’s not wearing diapers this time, it’s only trapped in a cage a hamster would feel claustrophobic in.

In conclusion, that’s my recap.  I don’t really know how to end these things when they’re separated into four different parts, so I’m just going to stop typing and let you guys talk about the episode now

catelynn lowell pregnant

In Touch – “She said, ‘You’re never going to believe it: I’m pregnant,’” Catelynn’s longtime friend, Jamie Pyrzewski, 26, confirms to In Touch. Jamie — one of the first people Catelynn, 20, called last month after sharing the news with Tyler and a small circle of family members — adds, “We were both quiet. I asked how she felt about it. She said she was nervous and scared.”

I know people are going to debate whether Catelynn Lowell is actually pregnant, or this is just another tabloid rumor. Neither has yet to confirm it publicly, so right now we can either believe it or chalk it up to tabloids doing their thing.

What strikes me about this article is that if I ever become famous, I’m just not telling people a damn thing.  It’s incredible how fast the friends of the Teen Mom cast run to Reality Weekly or In Touch to sell a story they heard.  While I suspect some of them do it purposely and get a little cut (not naming names), it just has to blow some of these moms away when it happens.   According to the story, Catelynn told her friend Jamie and a small circle of family members, so at what point did Jamie decide “Hmm, I think I should call a magazine and tell them.  I mean her fans are family too, right?”

It’s entirely possible Catelynn gave Jamie the thumbs up to sell the story, but I still wouldn’t do it.  On another note, from my experience, when sources are willing to give their real names, it does put a lot of weight to the story.   I believe it’s probably true, and good for them.   I’ve seen some act shocked by this announcement, but they’ve been together forever, are financially stable, have their own house, etc.   This shocking part to me is how long it took for Catelynn to become pregnant again.

Update

US Magazine – “Don’t believe everything you read, I’m definitely not pregnant!” she tells Usin a statement. “I’m on the pill. And, I’m only 20–I don’t want to have kids until I’m out of school and we’re married.”

So Catelynn went to US Magazine to deny the rumor that her longtime friend told a different magazine.   Either Catelynn is lying or has a pretty bad friend.  What do you think?

This poster is kind of weak because my last one was apparently full of Teen Mom 2 people.  This one features Gary, who – as of 2 hours ago – watching the movie “Gone” which makes me think he’s not even in NYC this weekend.

Nonetheless, just a day after Melinda returned home from her weekend in the Big Apple, Maci, Farrah, Catelynn and Tyler all made their way into the city to film the reunion show with Dr.Fraud.  Had we known they where going to be there a day later, maybe she would have stuck around for a bit to try and meet them, do a photo op or what not.  I mean if I’m not going to win the date with Farrah, the least we can do is stalk them when they’re close, right?

They’re ready to take on the final set of questions from Dr.Fraud in the awkward post-season interviews that I have trouble watching for some reason.  Maybe it’s the fake questions, the fake answers, or how Drew pretends to give a crap while doing anything he can to increase the awkwardness while they’re on stage.

I stole a few images from Starcasm, even though they’re all over FB and twitter, I figured I’d give him credit for these…

Let’s see how they’re looking….

maci bookout, farrah abraham and catelynn lowell in NYCFarrah has to nearly get on her knees so she’s at the same level as the other girls.  Cute picture though!

maci bookoout's hotel roomMaci Bookout’s hotel room for the week. Life is tough for the bookster

catelynn lowell Catelynn Lowell looking very happy to be posing next to a parking garage.
Just kidding, she is looking great!

maci, farrah and catelynn poseI don’t think cameras are allowed in prison to be able to show all 4 teen moms
Too soon?

The last comment is clearly a joke but it does suck that Amber isn’t there – again.  She missed the last reunion, missed this one, and is missing out on a lot.  I am so frustrated for her to see such a fantastic opportunity squandered.  I know she has her issues and I’m not getting into that, it’s just sad.  The original 4 is down to 3, and we’ll be lucky to see Amber on TV ever again once the season ends in a few months.

Update:

I’m told this wasn’t a reunion but an after show.  The reunion already happened… oops

catelynn and tyler in front of their new houseWhenever I hear stories about Catelynn and Tyler, I wonder if MTV messed up with their casting.  I mean take a look at Amber, Snookie, “The Situation”, Jenelle, even Maci, Leah, etc can bring the drama on occasion.  Then you have Catelynn and Tyler, the most mature and responsible teens I’ve probably ever seen, let alone on TV with 6 figure checks thrown at them.

This isn’t a knock on them at all, they’re far and away the best role models for young teens, but they don’t seem to fit on MTV’s drama-first programming.  I’m going to guess they felt as we all did that the adoption and early young personalities would have resulted in plenty of drama and a breakup, but it never did.  The young couple remained as close as ever, and any long-time Teen Mom viewer you talk to couldn’t be happier for them.

Enough gushing, the story here is that the pair spent some of their money on five cars, a bunch of shoes, exotic vacations, tattoos, plastic surgery and other stuff they’ll be bored of in 5 years.  Just kidding, this is Cate and Tyler we’re talking about.  They went out and bought a house, and didn’t even need 3 roommates.  I guess you can do stuff like that when you don’t fly down to Vegas every other weekend.

Just like you’d expect, they didn’t get a tiny house, but it also wasn’t some super huge mini-mansion.  It’s a modest sized house that looks absolutely beautiful inside, and the pair look happy as ever to be proud new homeowners. Check out the photos below…




If you weren’t aware by now, this season of Teen Mom starring the original cast of Maci, Catelynn, Amber and Farrah will be their last.  The season begins on June 12th, and looks like it will cover the typical issues facing the moms.

Amber Portwood will be dealing with her legal troubles, and the emotional toll it’s taking on her and her family.  Leah is growing up and is now understanding that mommy is not around as much, and it should be interesting to see how this all plays out.  Thankfully they didn’t show a whole lot of Gary because his head is already big enough where any more airtime, even in a trailer, may send him over the moon.

Maci Bookout will appear to go through her breakup with biker Kyle, and possibly cover her new relation with the second biker Kyle.  I’m not sure she was with the second Kyle at the time of filming, but I’m pretty confident we’ll see her relationship with Kyle 1 erode.  That will be a bit sad to see as he genuinely appears to be a good guy and positive role model for Bentley.. even if he does have the case of the mumbles.

It looks like we’ll see the official move to Florida with Farrah Abraham, and the impact that has on her parents.  In addition, her season arc will probably cover a boyfriend or two.  She’s pretty hidden with her private life, so it’s hard to grasp what we’ll see from that clip.  My best guess is it will cover Farrah trying to prepare herself for life after Teen Mom by securing a feature with books and possibly a spin-off show.

Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra will be dealing with the difficulty of their family issues, in addition to the feelings they still have about the adoption. What we won’t see is Catelynn and Tyler breaking up like I honestly thought they would in season 1.  I didn’t think their relationship would survive the adoption, but they have proven any doubter wrong and are still going strong today.  While their story may have the least amount of drama, being huge role models for young couples should be enough to carry their story throughout the season and will be great to watch.