Teen Mom Bios: Maci | Farrah | Catelynn | Amber | Leah | Chelsea | Kailyn | Jenelle Teen Mom Junkies

Of course this is not the finished product, so don’t act all crazy about the smudged black ink or the pink outline. That said, Tyler is getting a tattoo across his back that spells out his last name in the shape of one of the batman logos.  I’m going to guess this one…

I’m also going to assume he chose Batman because his last name sort of has ‘bat’ in it, or he’s just a fan, OR he’s secretly batman but decided to reveal his identity to the world in the form of a tattoo.   Move over, Christian Bale.

What do you think of his new ink?

Update:  I’m now being told this is old.  I guess this is what I get for posting 4x in a day.

Double Update:  Here is the finished product….

For those of you who were worried that the series finale of Teen Mom 1 would be the last time you’d see your favorite Teen Moms, think Jersey Shore.  Would MTV really let cash cows like J-Woww and Snookie ride off into the sunset without making more money off them?  No way.  The same apparently is going on for the original cast of Teen Mom.   There have been rumors of a Maci spin-off, Farrah all but confirmed hers, and I’m sure we’ll see Amber on future episodes of “Cops”.  This leaves America’s favorite bong hitting couple, Catelynn and Tyler as the lone members without a show… until now!

Celebuzz got word from Catelynn’s dad, David, that the couple are indeed still filming.  Apparently the theme of the series (or special.. w/e) is going to be leading up to the big day of their wedding which will take place on July 13, 2013.  I’m not sure how I feel about this, can the two carry their own show?  Will it fizzle out like the “Pauly D Project”?  Will it be an hour of Tyler yelling at his dogs or Catelynn trying to figure out if she’s going to go to college this semester or next?

Look, don’t take it the wrong way, I respect this couple more than anyone on the show.  They’ve shown a ton of maturity for their young age and (bong-gate aside) have set a good example for young kids.  That said…. their segments have been more boring than entertaining the last 2 seasons.  I’m pretty confident a reality show watching us tweet and blog about their episode may be a bit more entertaining..  If you like the stuff we tweet, imagine the things we say that don’t make it to our twitter account.

Enough about us, back to Cate and Tyler.  I really like them and crossing my fingers their spin-off is a success.  I’ll definitely be checking it out, but beware Cate, bong jokes are not off limits to me now!  :)

July 15, 2012, marks 8 years of bliss for Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra, who are celebrating their anniversary today.  Yesterday, Catelynn gushed about Tyler:

Wow. Tomorrow will be 8 years that I have spent with the love of my life @Tylerbaltierra. Best 8 years ever! #soulmates

Tyler tweeted today that he served Catelynn breakfast in bed:

Making breakfast in bed 4 @CatelynnLowell funfetti pancakes & bacon! 8 yr anniversary 2day & still head over heals in love with her!

Can I get a collective “awwwwww?”  8 years together is nothing to sneeze at, considering the majority of couples who started dating at such a young age never make it that far.  Given all they have been through, with a teen pregnancy, placing their daughter for adoption, and their less-than-supportive parents, it’s nothing short of a miracle that these two are still as much in love as they are.

Catelynn and Tyler have scheduled their wedding a year from today, on their 9th anniversary.  Even though Teen Mom will have completed its run by then, Tyler tweeted in the past that he is determined to having their wedding filmed since it’s what their fans want.

catelynn and april reported pregnancyRemember when I first wrote about Catelynn reportedly being pregnant and also focused on the bad friend part?  Something a lot of people overlook when these reports are leaked are the ‘friends’ who leak them.  Whether it’s Leah and Jeremy purposely (imo) “leaking” stories to Reality Weekly, Jenelle’s friends selling her out any chance they can, and now Catelynn’s reported longtime “friend” Jamie Pyrzewski.  I thought the Teen Mom circle really just had some pretty terrible shady friends who are quick to cash in on the fame.

What I didn’t expect was this… that “friend” Jamie Pyrzewski was actually some random girl that Catelynn’s mother set up to interview In Touch.  Yes, the story gets wilder.  According to Starcasm (and probably other multiple sources), April set this whole thing up, got pregnancy documents from a local doctor and then acted like Catelynn on the phone to confirm the story.  I was a little hard on In Touch magazine in my last article, and it explains why they were willing to run the story.  I guess I won’t be calling them up and confessing Farrah’s love for me for a quick grand because it’s a lot harder than that…  yet April pulled it off.

I’m really blown away by this, and not because of April did it.  She always seemed super shady to me every time she made an appearance on the show.  The shocking part was how determined she was to come up with such a scheme. I’m not even sure Danny Ocean would come up with something like this… ok, he would, and it would have involved a lot cooler of an entourage as well… but I’m side tracking.  I really didn’t think April Cocainerson (my new name for her) could come up with such a story… simply unreal.

Catelynn and Tyler, it’s time to cut some serious ties. April, Butch.. gone.  Cate’s father Dave?  He’s a super keeper.  Take him and go someplace real far away from the toxic April and Butch.  I know it’s tough, but after this?  Come on. Get out of there and fast.

maci talking about ryan's girlfriend dalis

I have to admit, I’m in over my head right now.  Melinda is in Florida on a much needed vacation, so that leaves me to handle both live tweets and recaps for this episode and next.  Honestly, I’ve written exactly 0 recaps for Teen Mom, as my full time job is basically to keep track of Jenelle’s constantly changing relationship status.  I’ll give it a go, but I doubt it will be as good.

Let’s start with everyone’s favorite – Amber….

AMBER PORTWOOD

Amber is still in the very beautiful rehab facility, most likely paid for by MTV.  They don’t really show much of her because when they do, she’s clearly so drugged up she can barely keep her eyes open.  What little of the Amber segment focused on Gary’s preparations to visit her at some point, and a few third parties mentioning just how bad those two are for each other.

Gary’s mother chatted with him for a little while about her rehab, and reading between the lines she was basically telling him.. “Look Gary.. or should I call you Gary Time and buy a t-shirt so you actually listen to me?  Amber has issues.. the type that a little stint in rehab isn’t going to magically fix.  While that place does wonders for people on the show Intervention, it simply can’t fix crazy”.   Naturally, Gary was in Gary world and didn’t really care what his mother had to say.

On Amber’s side, some creepy looking guy named JJ had Amber call her brother Shawn to talk about how things are going.  While others may have sugar-coated Amber’s relationship at times, Shawn didn’t.  He was very blunt and direct calling the relationship toxic, and saying Gary is controlling and essentially ruining her life.  Like the efforts put forth by Gary’s mom, it was another wasted attempt because Amber was off in Amber world while Shawn was talking.

The segment ended with Gary letting Amber know that he’s going to be bringing Leah out to see her, and they’re going to have some Gary and Amber time (I don’t even want to picture that)

CATELYNN LOWELL

It’s graduation time!  And you know what that means??  Awkwardness!  Why?  Well, for starters, Tyler’s already in college, so I really don’t know what’s up with that.  If I recall, he finished high school a semester early and was able to begin college classes, but that made for any time they talked about the ‘next step’ kind of weird.  He’s already on the next step.

Minor nitpicking aside, it was still a great time for Tyler, but especially for Catelynn.  Her father – Dave (who is moving near her) – was able to make it up for the graduation with her brother who’s sadly paralyzed from an auto accident.  This is great for Cate because Dave is really one cool guy and she seems to really lean on him for support.  The fact that he’s moving up is making it that much better.

Tyler, well, he’s still stuck with Butch and his issues.  Butch is not able to make it to the graduation because he’s getting out of jail one day too late. Look on the bright side though, he’s really coming around!!  He’s actually starting to accept Carly… very nice of him  (*rolls eyes*)

Regardless, congratulations on the graduation you two!

Maci Bookout

Maci, Maci, Maci.. what am I going to do with you?  Her part revolves around Bentley going to FL for the week with Ryan, his parents, and Ryan’s girlfriend Dalis (whom Maci was unaware of at the time).  Well, Maci decided to invite herself down to their family vacation.  Not to intrude, just to “be there if needed”.  Talk about awkward, and then with Dalis coming along, how uncomfortable for this poor girl?

But hey, at least she disguised her intrusion by bringing along some friends so they can all sit around and talk about Ryan and his girlfriend.   Does anyone get the feeling that Maci secretly wants Ryan back real bad but is trying to be very un-Chelsealike about it?

Farrah Abraham

This was essentially the Farrah episode, so I saved the best for last.  First, you have Michael (her father) helping her get comfortable with her new surroundings in Florida, while Farrah does her constant eye rolling any time he tries to give her an ounce of advice.  She took it personal when he said he was thinking of moving down there so he can help her out if needed.  Yes, I get that both he and Deb are being overbearing helicopter grandparents to Sophia, but many single moms would kill for that type of support.  Yet here you have Farrah constantly yelling back at her mother and father whenever they try to help… grr frustrating.

Farrah then decides to interview for a nanny because apparently she needs help with Sophia, but not free help from caring grandparents.  Then, only after she’s all moved in, she does a check on her potential nanny only to find out Farrah is the one kind of living in the crappy neighborhood.  Well done on the pre-move research there.

Finally, we have the dog situation.  Because Farrah learned that she really can’t handle having a dog, she went to her pet shop to pick out a fish.  Of course she doesn’t make it past the dog section before asking to see one of the cute puppies, and instantly falls in love with it.  Showing some restraint and maturity, she puts the puppy back and picks out the fish that Sophia want and they go home.  Hahahah.. just kidding.  This is Farrah.  Ignoring Sophia’s plea for a fish, and the fact that she pretty much sucks as a dog owner, she buys it anyway.   But hey, at least it’s not wearing diapers this time, it’s only trapped in a cage a hamster would feel claustrophobic in.

In conclusion, that’s my recap.  I don’t really know how to end these things when they’re separated into four different parts, so I’m just going to stop typing and let you guys talk about the episode now

catelynn lowell pregnant

In Touch – “She said, ‘You’re never going to believe it: I’m pregnant,’” Catelynn’s longtime friend, Jamie Pyrzewski, 26, confirms to In Touch. Jamie — one of the first people Catelynn, 20, called last month after sharing the news with Tyler and a small circle of family members — adds, “We were both quiet. I asked how she felt about it. She said she was nervous and scared.”

I know people are going to debate whether Catelynn Lowell is actually pregnant, or this is just another tabloid rumor. Neither has yet to confirm it publicly, so right now we can either believe it or chalk it up to tabloids doing their thing.

What strikes me about this article is that if I ever become famous, I’m just not telling people a damn thing.  It’s incredible how fast the friends of the Teen Mom cast run to Reality Weekly or In Touch to sell a story they heard.  While I suspect some of them do it purposely and get a little cut (not naming names), it just has to blow some of these moms away when it happens.   According to the story, Catelynn told her friend Jamie and a small circle of family members, so at what point did Jamie decide “Hmm, I think I should call a magazine and tell them.  I mean her fans are family too, right?”

It’s entirely possible Catelynn gave Jamie the thumbs up to sell the story, but I still wouldn’t do it.  On another note, from my experience, when sources are willing to give their real names, it does put a lot of weight to the story.   I believe it’s probably true, and good for them.   I’ve seen some act shocked by this announcement, but they’ve been together forever, are financially stable, have their own house, etc.   This shocking part to me is how long it took for Catelynn to become pregnant again.

Update

US Magazine – “Don’t believe everything you read, I’m definitely not pregnant!” she tells Usin a statement. “I’m on the pill. And, I’m only 20–I don’t want to have kids until I’m out of school and we’re married.”

So Catelynn went to US Magazine to deny the rumor that her longtime friend told a different magazine.   Either Catelynn is lying or has a pretty bad friend.  What do you think?